The Illusion of Self-Sustainability: Why We Need Each Other

Why I Don’t Want People to Solve All Their Problems on Their Own

This is the 21st century, the era of ‘freedom’, ‘liberation from the dogmatic clutches of society’, and ‘independence from orthodox thoughts that hold people back’, or so we had hoped. But what have we actually become?

‘Independent’, ‘self-reliant’, not because these are the highest human values, but because our trust in others has eroded so profoundly. Ironic, isn’t it?

Society was meant to evolve in a way that made human life easier, allowing us to spend less time on survival and more on higher pursuits, spiritual, intellectual, or even pleasure-seeking.

Technological advancements were supposed to serve this goal, making our lives simpler so we could focus on building stronger, healthier communities.

But instead of using our knowledge and progress to bring people together, we are weaponizing them to break down societies.

Rather than fostering camaraderie, we are fueling cynicism, paranoia, and a worldview where other humans are seen as obstacles rather than allies.

Historians may not have emphasized this enough, but community is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Even a digital community can offer immense support to its members.

Yet, we were sold the idea that being a good human is optional, that we only need others as a matter of choice. However, research over the past few decades has continually proven that humans cannot function in isolation.

From birth to even after death, where people continue to honor their ancestors, believing that love and responsibility transcend realms, our existence is deeply interwoven with others.

The Fallacy of Self-Sustainability

Today, we are increasingly told that we must be entirely self-sufficient: grow our own food, stitch our own clothes, maintain peak health so we never need external medical care, and even grow our own medicines if we fall sick.

If we crave community, we are advised to chant mantras to remind ourselves that we were born alone and will die alone (which, ironically, is a misinterpretation of that ideology).

The ultimate goal, it seems, is to live in isolation, rejecting society altogether.

But should a life goal be so alienating that it requires us to forsake our true selves? Isn’t it already evident that people become bitter when they stray too far from their inherent social nature?

We have all encountered so-called self-reliant or spiritually ‘enlightened’ individuals who appear emotionally hardened, untouched by human warmth.

Have they mistaken detachment for strength?

Do they believe that even God doesn’t cry?

The problem with self-sustainability and extreme independence is that it distances us from other humans. The idea is often rooted in mistrust, fear, and cynicism rather than true empowerment.

Yes, corruption and untrustworthiness exist. Yes, adulteration, unethical behavior, and deceit are real. But instead of fiercely advocating for a return to ethics, empathy, and accountability, we are retreating into isolated cocoons. The result?

People cut themselves off, not just from toxic environments, but sometimes even from their own families and communities.

The Natural Order: A Lesson from Biology

Nature itself does not operate on self-sufficiency.

The first example of the division of labor comes from biological evolution, the development of complex organ systems that work together to sustain life. Plants and animals thrive through intricate interdependencies.

If we were meant to be entirely self-reliant, we would have remained amoebas, unicellular, shapeless, and alone.

But we are not alone. Neither at a cellular level nor on a universal scale.

So why this obsession with ‘making it to the end’ alone?

The Psychological and Social Consequences

Psychologists have documented countless cases of individuals struggling with mental and emotional distress, and one recurring factor hindering their healing is a lack of a healthy community.

It is unrealistic to expect people to thrive in toxic environments, but the solution should not be complete isolation. Instead, the goal should be to build and nurture spaces where trust and authenticity can flourish.

This goes beyond mental health, it extends to social well-being, too. Farmers grow our food. Businesses provide goods and services. Consumers drive economies. At every level of this chain, we are interconnected.

A strong community is only as trustworthy and ethical as its members. Yet, the prevailing narrative tells us to disengage rather than repair, to abandon rather than rebuild.

The Frustration Feedback Loop

Conversations about modern life increasingly revolve around how difficult it is to rely on others. As a result, people turn inward, believing they must handle everything themselves.

But this isn’t coming from a place of enlightenment, it stems from frustration and disillusionment. When others fail to meet basic expectations of cooperation and decency, the response is often, “If I can’t count on them, then I won’t be there for anyone either.”

This creates a dangerous cycle. As trust erodes, people stop holding themselves accountable to others.

The growing sentiment of “Let the world burn as long as my house is safe” is becoming not only acceptable but encouraged.

There Is Still Hope

Yet, all is not lost. There are still people who believe in the power of community, who understand that the most profound human experiences come not from isolation but from togetherness.

We must share the blame collectively and spread hope collectively.

Our core human nature, shaped by millennia of evolution, proves that we cannot thrive alone.

A community is not just about collecting ‘likes’ on social media; it is about the people you share your days with, the ones who stand by you until the very end.

It’s time to rethink what independence truly means. It should not be about detaching from others out of fear or disillusionment but about building relationships where trust, cooperation, and interdependence thrive.

Only then can we move forward, not as fragmented individuals, but as a society that truly understands the strength of standing together.