Why Kindness Is the Selfish Person’s Power Play

A law of nature (1⇔1), foretold by Uncle Newton, action is equal to reaction, you get what you give. Never thought physics class was actually a sociology class too.

When it comes to understanding how the world works, those who have mastered their quid pro quo muscle, the connoisseurs of transactional relationships, have aced how kindness is used in this selfish world. They have learnt how to make it in this world, sometimes even without any real talent.

Why should I care about others?

You ought to help others, if you need help. You ought to pass the ball if you want to receive one in your hand again. Sometimes even bigger than what you gave.

You leave to be somewhere else, you take things and people out of your life to make room for new things and people in your life.

Flow is the essence of life.

Hence, this simple strategy, if you naturally aren’t finding motivation to endorse kindness in your heart, be nice if you are selfish.

Be kind to others, if you want to only benefit from this world. 

Is this karma? Maybe, if it calms you. But it’s just how social dynamics work.

Is this a satire or a hard fact ?

Both! It’s up to the altitude level of your soul, whichever soothes it more.

Let’s dig a little deeper!

I often meet people who are so tired of this world, whining about the way people have stopped benefiting them. The people they helped never helped them back. Or just in general, a constant need of entitlement they carry, like the world owes them something.

I will not say I don’t find it diabolical but with time I have learnt every negative outlook towards life stems from a basic need remaining unmet. 

Looking back to the things from where they have started to affect us is a better way to work out the present problem.

Introspection and acceptance is the key to true happiness.

Easier said than done, I know!

The problem is for so many reasons we are unable to connect to our own selves, to look at our own conscience and with keen eyes, we definitely avoid that. It’s work. It’s guilt. Probably shame. Conditioning, who knows, may not be just one reason for this lax attitude.

Anyway, coming back to kindness v/s selfishness.

What we have to understand and accept, people gain more from being kind even when they inherently believe it’s better to be selfish.

The facade of kindness sells better. People when they think you are kind, they almost consider you stupid, and would approach you more. Bam! Good for networking and business. But in the long run, you meet people who are as broken by this world, yet as kind as you. You can build your tribe like that.

Like begets like.

This passing the kindness parcel doesn’t stop at this. You keep on helping others in return for something, you still get your work done, plus you owe something to someone. 

In the long term, less chances of people denying you a favour. You are the first person who comes to mind for being resourceful, and the easiest way for personal branding. You will be remembered for more than one reason, good for you always.

If you were a business owner and your product/service was subpar, even then people would come to you and prefer working with you because you have shown them kindness before.

They find you non-threatening. Unless you are the Godfather, where you were considered kind and fearsome both. (Take a bow, Marlon Brando as Don Corleone)

This is exactly how communities build. Even though the ideal suggestion is to help because you want to be a good samaritan.

But even if for whatever reason you are not able to channel your inner goodness, summon your strategic evil planning brain and help because it will come to you in return, especially when you’d need it the most.

If not the same person who you helped, sometimes they are not available, or resourceful or they have not cracked the code of being kind in this selfish world, someone else would rush to your aid for sure.

Word of advice here

Don’t you forget the face of the person who couldn’t show up when you expected them to though. You have to know whether they thought you were stupid or genuinely struggling themselves, so you are prepared to not be fooled for the next time.

While practising kindness, you actually shouldn’t become a public hose or a punching bag.

And this is how we understand how boomerang effect is prevalent in social life. Since your story of kindness is already known, people know you are a ‘good’ person who helps, someone will come to your help.

And because everyone has received help some way or the other from someone in the community, there is a higher chance they would be motivated to help others when required.

They all want to get on the wagon of kindness because that’s the social norm. The FOMO is real. No matter how we achieve this ‘community with kindness’ goal, the long or the short way, we all win.

And, that’s the whole point of all of humanity.
To be there, for one another.

Another solid reason to be kind:

On a serious spiritual note, kindness is powerful. Kindness heals people, both ways. The one who helped, feels powerful and resourceful, he finds meaning in his existence and the value he has because of his work and presence.his inner cup is filled.

At the same time the person who received help, understands there is goodness in this world. He can rely on others , he’s not alone. A trust in the community is reinforced.

A caution though:

To think you can  pretend to be kind when you never think about others, to only help people who can do something for you in return, might get you everywhere materialistically, but peace is far fetched.

True peace comes when we help someone, who doesn’t even believe or think they could be helped. Helping those who can only cry to god for help, those whose tears can’t be seen and voices which can’t be heard. Being kind to those even after the help probably can’t even thank you because of whatever reason, but you know you did something utterly human.

Anyway, this preaching can take the whole day.

So now back to today’s business!

Again, why kindness is worth the effort in the long run:

One would ask, is kindness “work”?

Yes! A whole lot of it.

But it reaps more benefits than you a lone selfish person could ever achieve. The world works on familiarity and networking.

This is how nepotism works.This is what corruption and lack of integrity has done.This is how it’s easy for big businesses to favour each other.

You help people, you are remembered, and then you have access to these people for more than just a kind deed.

Think think you selfish gremlin! Be kind and be happy! 

If you can’t find it in your heart to be kind, use your head. 

And you will see how many closed doors it can open, including your own heart, hopefully someday.