“उड़ान वालों उड़ानों पे वक़्त भारी है
परों की नहीं अब हौसलों की बारी है”
Bashir Badr
Meaning- Oh you flyers, times are tough for flight. It is no longer a test of your physical wings, but a test of your inner courage.
We tend to believe there is an original self hidden beneath everything else, something that was always there. We call that our authentic self.
It could be partially true.
There may be a part of us that has always existed beneath the conditioning, expectations, and fears.
But I don’t think our authentic self is fixed.
I think it is in a constant state of flow.
It keeps changing with every experience, every lesson, every relationship, every value we choose to keep, and every belief we decide to let go of.
So when we chase authenticity, I wonder if we are chasing the wrong thing.
I think all we really have to do is pause for a moment and ask ourselves,
“What does my heart truly want right now?”
Whatever that answer is, that is your authentic self in that moment.
Tomorrow it may want something different.
And I think that’s okay.
If your authentic self does not want to do something, but you still choose to do it only to please others, that is people-pleasing.
If your authentic self wants to stop a toxic behavior, leave an unhealthy relationship, or speak a difficult truth, but you keep choosing politeness instead, then that politeness is no longer kindness.
It is harm directed towards yourself.
I also find it interesting that we spend so much time trying to protect our authentic self that we end up hiding it.
Maybe authentic living is less about protecting yourself and more about slowly stopping the habit of hiding.
Hiding what troubles you. Hiding what excites you. Hiding what you truly want.
Because I don’t think a meaningful life comes from pretending to be okay. I think it comes from being honest enough to admit when you’re not.
That honesty may require moving away from certain people.
It may require finding people who help you grow instead of helping you stay the same.
It may require choosing yourself in healthy ways again and again, and stopping the habit of sacrificing your deepest desires simply to fit into someone else’s expectations.
I also think we build moulds around ourselves.
We start believing that changing is self-betrayal.
When, more often than not, staying inside that mould becomes the real betrayal.
It becomes self-sabotage.
We are living beings.
Every cell in our body is repairing itself, dying, and renewing itself every moment.
We don’t notice it because it happens quietly.
But change is happening every second.
So why do we expect our identity to remain untouched?
Why do we expect our values, dreams, and desires to stay exactly where they were ten years ago?
I don’t think authenticity is about staying loyal to the person you once were.
I think authenticity is about staying honest with the person you are becoming.
And I leave you with these words from Henry David Thoreau (Walden):
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
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