Tag: friendship

  • How Does It Feel Falling In Love With Someone

    (A millennial’s version)

    The age-old question. Maybe when you are a teenager. Maybe when you’ve been hurt so many times that your heart has stopped feeling. Maybe when you’ve been with someone for so long that love has faded into mere habit. Whatever the reason, this question haunts millions, and always will.

    Understanding love, the yearning for it, is one of life’s greatest dilemmas. At times, it feels impossible to differentiate between a crush, infatuation, or true love. But for now, let’s talk about love-the kind that makes you want to be with someone, in any and every way.

    We may try to separate admiration, platonic love, or protective affection, but the most perplexing kind is amorous love, the deep, undeniable desire to be with someone both physically and emotionally.

    The first sign? A definite interest in their life. A clear, positive interest means attraction, but sometimes, it manifests as irritation or even repulsion-why, no one really knows. If someone is on the receiving end of such behavior, I would never suggest mistaking a bully for a secret admirer. But the truth is, some people struggle to express warmth at first, or they themselves are confused by their emotions, making things even more confusing.

    Yet, if their presence sparks a rush of energy, a quickened heartbeat, a clouded mind, or burning ears, if you suddenly become hyper-aware of your own face when they’re around, chances are, you’re drawn to them.

    If you can’t help but be interested in their personal life, if hearing their name makes you feel lightheaded, if your hands tremble when touching something they’ve touched, if you’ve memorized their routine and favorite songs, if you secretly take candid pictures of them, if you know the exact shape of their eyes and nose by heart, and if just standing next to them sends electric waves through you,then you are truly, deeply infatuated.

    If they sit behind you, you dare not turn around for fear they might see the madness in your eyes. Writing their name becomes a pastime. You imagine them in every love song, every movie, every poem. You’ve stood outside their house just for a glimpse. You’ve lingered in places they frequent, hoping for a chance encounter.

    Looking into their eyes feels dangerous because they’d instantly know how much space they occupy in your thoughts. So instead, you hide within a crowd, just to watch them from a safe distance.

    If you’re already friends with them, you tread carefully. You hesitate to show too much care, yet somehow, you’re always the first to rush to their aid. Jealousy flares when they pay attention to someone else. You twist time and schedules just to be near them, ensuring they never glimpse your struggles. Your day starts with them and never truly ends, sleep merely interrupts the thoughts of them.

    Then comes the stage where your feelings refuse to be contained. It feels like your heart will burst if you don’t tell them. So you drop hints, sometimes subtle, sometimes glaring. You find yourself playing attention games, getting mad over the smallest things, hiding away just to be found by them.

    You stop speaking to them, not because you want to, but because every word feels like it could betray your secret. And so, the push and pull begins, a silent battle between revealing your heart and guarding it, unsure whether to risk everything or hold onto your fragile, unspoken world.

    Whatever the ending, every love story is different, in terms of outcome and the length. Love taps you on your shoulder when you least expect it, nudges you to take the first step and when you are in the middle of your journey, brings you a choice, if you want to pursue further or stop right there.

    Whatever the choice, it is not easy to make. Hell, even after choosing, there could still be regret. Because love stories are messy, at least the real ones are.

    Lucky are those whose love is recognized and returned. My heart aches for those whose love remains unrequited. Perhaps that is the paradox of love-it demands to be felt, yet it often defies logic.

    We spend our days longing, analyzing every interaction, deciphering unspoken words. But love has its own will, moving in ways we cannot predict or control.

    Love, in its unpredictability, often takes unexpected routes. It can be fleeting, it can be patient, and sometimes, it circles back when you least expect it. Sometimes, love comes back when you’re no longer around-days, weeks, years, even decades later. But no matter the outcome, experiencing love in its rawest, most unfiltered form is a blessing.

    Yes, love can be painful. It can end in heartbreak. But years from now, when you look back, you’ll remember not just the ache but the depth of your yearning. The intensity of your emotions. The sheer capacity of your heart to feel.

    Because to have truly lived is to have felt-immensely and intensely.

  • When It’s Time To Let Go Of Your Friendship

    This is something which is not really talked about. Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a friendship can become toxic or one-sided. But there are clear signs when things start to seem off track. Here’s how to recognize when it’s time to let go and move on. 

    Signs It’s Time to Leave a Friendship

    You Feel Drained

    If spending time with them leaves you feeling exhausted, anxious, or self-conscious, it’s a red flag. A good friendship should energize you, not drain you. If you need to take a deep breath before calling them or if you need a break after meeting them, and it’s kind of frequent, then it’s time to give a real thought about what is going on with you two.

    Lack of Reciprocity

    If they don’t make time for you, forget important details about your life, or fail to keep promises, the friendship may be one-sided. For example, if you’re always the one initiating plans or checking in, it’s a sign they’re not putting in the same effort. Again, this has been going on for a long time, and you haven’t been able to understand a reason for it, despite asking them or observing them. For example, when people are going through a difficult situation they either become clingy or isolate themselves. In both cases, a true friend can understand that in a while, just by being patient. But you feel despite your extended understanding, your presence is not valued, then it’s time to rethink.

    Constant Criticism

    If they make you feel like a burden or belittle you under the guise of “motivation,” it’s time to reevaluate. For example, if they constantly point out your flaws or make you feel like you’re not good enough, it’s not healthy. It’s one thing to be your honest critique, and it’s another to make you feel like a loser all the time, sometimes in front of others too.

    Gaslighting and Disrespect

    If they dismiss your feelings, refuse to apologize, or make you feel small, the friendship is no longer healthy. For example, if you tell them something they said hurt you and they respond with, “You’re too sensitive,” it’s a sign they’re not respecting your emotions, and it happens everytime you bring up what’s troubling you about them.

    You’re Not Yourself Around Them

    If you feel constricted or unable to be your authentic self, it’s a sign the friendship has run its course. For example, if you find yourself censoring your thoughts or hiding parts of your life to avoid judgment, it’s not a safe space. You feel they may shame you for your life choices, without understanding your point of view, and it’s a fear in your head to share your real desires with them, then your friend is not your safe-space.

    They Don’t Remember or Care About Your Life

    If they don’t ask about your struggles, forget important events, or seem uninterested in your life, it’s a sign they’re not invested in the friendship. For example, if you’ve been going through a tough time and they haven’t checked in, it’s a red flag. If they keep asking you to tone it down or telling you to move on or big deal when you are clearly struggling then it’s a red flag.

    They Make You Feel Like a Burden

    If they act like tolerating you is a chore or make you feel like no one else would want to be your friend, it’s time to walk away. For example, if they say things like, “You’re lucky I put up with you,” it’s a sign of emotional manipulation. If you feel they are ashamed of you, they feel uncomfortable introducing you to their other friends, then it’s time to reconsider this relationship.

    They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

    If they constantly push your limits, ignore your requests, or make you feel uncomfortable, it’s a sign they don’t respect you. For example, if you’ve asked them not to share something personal with others, and they do it anyway, it’s a breach of trust.

    Remember it’s never one thing, nor should it be judged on the basis of one off event. The way you spend a long time to realize how much you value your friend the same way you should take time in understanding if the red flags are a permanent feature of your friendship. Also if the burden is too difficult to carry and if it has been a long time, then no point pretending that you still fill each other’s cup.

    How to Let Go Gracefully

    Take a Break

    If you’re unsure about ending the friendship, take a break instead. Distance yourself for a while and see how you feel. Sometimes, space can give you clarity.

    Have an Honest Conversation

    If you feel comfortable, talk to them about how you’re feeling. Be honest but kind. For example, “I’ve been feeling like our friendship has become one-sided, and it’s been hard for me.”

    Set Boundaries

    If you’re not ready to end the friendship completely, set clear boundaries. For example, let them know you need space or that certain behaviors are not okay.

    Let It Fade Naturally

    Sometimes, friendships fade on their own. If they’re not putting in effort, stop reaching out and see if they notice. If they don’t, it’s a sign the friendship has run its course.

    Focus on Healthy Relationships

    Invest your time and energy in friendships that make you feel valued and supported. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and bring out the best in you.

    Final Thoughts

    Friendships are a two-way street. While it’s important to put in effort, it’s equally important to recognize when a friendship is no longer serving you. Letting go of toxic relationships can be hard, but it’s necessary for your mental and emotional well-being and growth.

    Wishing you all happy and fulfilling friendships!

    (Based on My Lived Experience)

  • The Search Of A Soulmate

    Lately, I’ve started to believe that our search for a soulmate isn’t a quest for answers—it’s a quest for shared questions.

    For centuries, we’ve idealized the notion of a soulmate as “the answer to all my questions.” Love songs, poetry, and stories tell us that we were born incomplete, carrying questions only our beloved could answer. But what if we’ve misunderstood this narrative? What if the answers have always been there—offered by our friends, our family, or even life itself? What if the essence of a soulmate lies not in answers, but in the questions they ask?

    Friends, after all, satisfy our curiosity. They give us answers, clarity, and a sense of grounding. That’s why friendships endure; they fill gaps in our understanding. A soulmate, however, is different. They are not the ones who settle your uncertainties—they are the ones who mirror them. They ask the same questions that keep you awake at night.

    This idea might feel unsettling, especially in a world where love is marketed as a solution. We’re taught to seek compatibility through shared goals, values, and intellectual pursuits. We’re told to look for someone who “completes us” or “makes us better.” But what if the true purpose of a soulmate is to stand beside us, equally lost, equally searching?

    It’s not the answers that bind us, but the shared journey of questioning. To feel truly connected to another is to see your own confusion reflected in their eyes and to find comfort in that mutual uncertainty. The idea of “completion” becomes irrelevant because the bond isn’t about fixing; it’s about exploring.

    This is why relationships often falter when one partner “finds the answer.” The balance shifts. Suddenly, the partnership feels unequal—one leads while the other lags behind. In such moments, the relationship risks becoming an uncomfortable hierarchy, rather than the safe haven it once was.

    A soulmate isn’t a wise teacher sent to enlighten you. They’re not the long-awaited guru with a roadmap to your life. They are, instead, your fellow wanderer—the same goofy, clueless last-bencher who doesn’t have all the answers either. Together, you stumble through life, laughing, tripping, and asking questions that may never have answers.

    The real question, then, isn’t “Who is my soulmate?” but rather, “What are my questions?” Have you sat with your doubts long enough to understand them? Have you figured out what you’re truly searching for? Because only when you understand your own questions can you recognize the ones who share them.

    A soulmate isn’t a destination. They’re not an endpoint to your search. They are a companion who joins you on the journey, walking beside you through the uncharted terrain of life’s mysteries. And maybe, just maybe, the beauty lies in the questions themselves, not the answers we once thought we needed.