Tag: family

  • When Life Feels Like a Panic Room

    Behold this image!

    A surgeon after performing a 10 hour surgery, comes out of the operation theatre. He takes a sigh. Things are still critical. But he doesn’t give these expressions when he is in the operation theatre, where everyone is looking at him for his work and prowess.

    He also doesn’t show his pauses in front of the patient’s relatives. He does it when the people who look up to him, can’t see him.

    He doesn’t want them to shake their confidence in him.

    He probably wouldn’t even have felt like sighing when he was in the operation theatre itself. The pressure wouldn’t have let him relax or take a short break just to realign himself at all.

    So, in the same way, you don’t sigh inside the very room where the problem lives.

    Imagine there is a heavy discussion or argument going on, you are sort of the neutral person or the unsaid umpire of the situation. You are swept up in all the heavy emotions in the room that demand your 100% attention.

    But it doesn’t mean your nervous system isn’t asking for a break. We need time to realign, process and ruminate our thoughts. That small sigh is an example of a short yet significant break.

    When we are in the room with the red light on, we may not want to tell people that there is something critical going on, through our expressions.Lest, they might get nervous and tense even more.

    We may foresee bigger trouble ahead, but we hold the calm of the room intact before dropping the weight of heavy information.

    And sometimes the situation is so urgent, you can’t imagine anything else, but to remain present in that situation.

    But something happens when you step out of your frame of reference. Something changes significantly, even for a second.
    Something which was mentioned by Daniel Kahneman, in ‘thinking fast and slow’. The moment our frame changes, mostly it’s the panic room itself, we suddenly become aware of the heaviness.

    There is heavy weight on our shoulders but we also feel we can put it down, for a bit. Before we could find the courage to put it back up again.

    Maybe that’s how being in a tough phase and getting through it feels.

    When we are in it, we can’t catch a breath. We are so deep in it, we can’t think of anything else in the world. It makes us panic and lose our strength, bringing us to our wits’ end.

    But is there something which can temporarily fix this frame, just like stepping out of the panic room?

    I think those transient breaks are people/friends/family. It could be a hobby, it’s a vacation. Sometimes work too!

    It could be a book or a movie or a night of standup comedy!

    Something or anything which lets you dissociate and detach from the imminent problem, for a bit. Something which gives you a chance to feel yourself, process the situation and your emotions about it.

    This change is pertinent for your emotional resilience. Yes, we are built to last. But we are not built without pit stops.

    We need to recharge. Maybe the capacity of everyone is different.

    We still haven’t been able to make a perpetual machine, let alone a human body!

    Do not hesitate to catch your breath. When going gets really tough, step out of your room.

    Yes, you have to step into it again, eventually, but recharging before going in, might give you a fresh set of perspectives and energy to solve the situation in the room again.

    What is life, if not a vast healthcare center!

    At any given time, some room is always blinking, asking for help?

  • Jealousy: The Villain or The Mirror

    Jealousy walks into our lives quietly, like an uninvited guest. It doesn’t shout at first. It lingers in the corner, watching, comparing, whispering that someone else has what we don’t.

    As children, it may start with toys or attention; as adults, it shifts to success, love, or recognition.

    Yet the emotion is the same. It is raw, uncomfortable, and deeply human.

    The real question is not whether jealousy visits us, but what we choose to do when it does. Should we deny it, let it poison us, or learn to understand the truths it is pointing toward?

    My observation is we feel jealous only in certain types of situations. And it has some markers and with some inner work we can get past it, if we can organise our thoughts around it a bit.

    1. The distance factor

    Our degree of jealousy depends on how “close” we feel to the person in question. In a way, it shows in which league we put ourselves.

    For example, jealousy usually hits harder when the person is closer to our own life situation. They probably have a similar job, from a similar educational or financial background, same hometown, same social circle etc. Something which puts you in a pretty similar opportunity category, seemingly. That’s why siblings/classmates/cousins/colleagues often feel jealous of each other.

    But if the distance is too big, jealousy shifts into admiration. Think of a gully boy admiring Eminem. He knows he can only admire him, not join his league. But another successful musician, closer to Eminem’s level, might feel more jealousy than admiration.

    We often see how celebrities are jealous of each other’s success. A small kid would admire Meryl Streep, but a leading actor of Bollywood would probably be jealous of her.

    So, when the gap feels too wide to cover, we admire it. When the gap feels bridgeable, we get jealous.

    1. The “not earned it” trigger

    We also get jealous when we feel someone hasn’t earned what they’re getting. If it looks like they’ve been handed success, attention, or praise they don’t deserve, jealousy rises.

    Probably that’s why nepotism hurts so much. You feel you have the same set of skills and talent, but just because of one extra blood relation they are chosen, not you.

    Now, if we could acknowledge struggles or see the effort behind someone’s achievements, for example a dear friend, then even when they’re in the same league, we’re more likely to respect them, maybe even encourage them, instead of resenting them.

    The acknowledgement of struggle also comes from a place of empathy and security. If we were raised to be kind, then we would notice the struggles and would admire the hard work someone does to achieve something similar.

    1. Low self-worth

    A big root of jealousy is low self-worth. If I feel jealous because someone else is called beautiful, inner work will show that I’m dissatisfied with my own looks.

    Deep down, I think, “This person has the same flaws as me. Why don’t they feel the same inferiority as I do? Why am I not being praised like them?”

    When we see them coping with their insecurities, it reminds us of our own failures, and we lash out as jealousy.

    This is why having a clear sense of self and clear definitions of concepts like happiness, beauty, or love is so important. If you truly believe everyone is beautiful in their own way, including yourself, jealousy naturally decreases.

    So, the moral?

    Let them be. And you be you. Use jealousy as a marker of what you think is missing, instead of projecting it on others. The more secure you are in yourself, the less anyone can touch you.

    1. Seeking approval and comparisons

    Jealousy also spikes when someone we seek approval from compares us to another person, who we do not think we are similar to at all. Maybe the comparison isn’t even valid, but because their judgment matters to us, we start competing with the one they held against us.

    The real question is: why do you need this person’s approval? Are they qualified to judge? Mature enough, despite the age and status? Do they even understand your journey? Have you lived similar lives, with similar struggles and opportunities?

    Often the answer is no. Yet we still let their comparison sting us.

    The most common example? Cousins, neighbours, colleagues. But are we really that similar? Should we let the cognitive bias of the comparer define our worth?

    It’s like asking: should elephants really care what ants say about them?

    This happens within families a lot. We are compared to a sibling or a distant cousin, and are constantly shamed for our struggles and failures. We feel hurt by our parents and elders for not recognizing our life situations, and shaming us, to apparently help us.

    We are shamed despite being successful by all social parameters, for a thing which doesn’t make sense, except your elders.

    Startup founders, even after being successful and accoladed by one and all, are shamed by their elders for not clearing government jobs, because success for them is a blue light car (although banned now).

    Shaming as children it only increases resentment towards parents, and sometimes even that person we are being compared with.The jealousy sometimes puts distance because of the constant comparison. We would probably want that person who we are being compared with to show our parents their flaws too.

    We want to tell our parents nobody is perfect, especially the person they think.

    My verdict of this situation is, what if our elders are really not that smart? What if the lens they think they are wearing to assess our life is outdated, broken and damaged? Why should I think my parents or elders know everything better than me? What if they are really wrong in some of the cases?

    It doesn’t mean they are not worth my respect, it means I shouldn’t take their judgements seriously and reiterate it to them now and then, that what they are doing is not helping but damaging their child’s peace.

    All in all

    Maybe jealousy isn’t the villain we paint it to be. It is a mirror. Sometimes harsh, sometimes painfully honest. It is showing us where our longings hide. For children, it can be a chance to learn fairness, gratitude, and patience.

    For us, it can be a reminder to turn inward rather than outward, to ask what is missing in our own lives that we keep measuring against others. If we are jealous of someone traveling a lot, then proabably we should also try to book our tickets too now and then.

    If we can hold jealousy gently instead of fearing or denying it, it stops being a shadow and starts becoming a guide, on our journey of self awareness.

  • Built for More Than Survival

    There’s an entire generation walking around confused, burned out, emotionally stunted or overburdened. It is not because they failed, but because they were never taught how to live. Millennials and their parents inherited silent rules, unspoken traumas, and outdated ideologies disguised as wisdom. Somewhere between survival and image, we forgot how to be human.

    This list is not a bashing critique on any generation. It is implying why we picked some toxic patterns and they need to be dropped right now. It is a reminder message to all of us in that age group, that we are hurting others and ourselves by not accepting the truth about ourselves. We can change, whenever we want.

    It is our life. And we can remember only one before dying. 

    Even stationary trees shed their leaves and grow new ones, then we are humans, we can change only if we believe life is better when we keep evolving and growing with it.

    The skills that should have been taught to millennials and parents of millennials, but were missed for various reasons

    1. Having difficult conversation / not to escape emotional conversations
    2. Taking care of physical health
    3. Understanding what is mental health and taking care of it
    4. If your loved ones are complaning about your behavior, acknowledge it and do something about it
    5. Honest conversations / being vulnerable when it matters
    6. Ability to accept criticism
    7. A sense of humor/ ability to laugh at oneself
    8. Self awareness
    9. How to take care of others without burning oneself out
    10. How  to say thank you / to show gratitude / to recognize and appreciate someone’s help even if they love us, not taking kindness for granted
    11. Saying sorry, even to an infant, animal or a plant
    12. How to be selfless without looking for recognition or return
    13. How to take care of others / do things with no benefit for oneself
    14. House chores
    15. Knowing basic skills of life/ Just because you earn well, doesn’t mean you should get away with not learning basic skills in life like cooking, cleaning, maintaining a house, taking care of others, doing basic financial work, traveling/driving/riding for work alone
    16. Not being a burden of a person on others
    17. How not to torture themselves and their children in the name of parenting
    18. Spirituality and healthy detachment
    19. Critical thinking / challenging problematic rituals and practices
    20. Enjoying life with its imperfections, not chasing the perfection
    21. Money over everything else
    22. Thriving versus surviving
    23. How not to deny honest feedback in relationships and in public life
    24. Not depending their self worth on people’s opinions, rather than on oneself / high self esteem
    25. Not taking major decisions in life like career, marriage to get approval of others
    26. Not caring about third parties more than direct family members
    27. Show off/snobbery versus real happiness
    28. Not just Worrying about future, but  also caring about  present
    29. Not regretting the past always
    30. Not living in yesterday and someone else’s life, thinking how life could be better if they had something else / always looking at someone else’s garden and comparing their life
    31. How to live without constant whining
    32. Problem solving versus problem seeking
    33. Not interested in others’ life, gossiping
    34. Not talking to people just for entertainment but developing real connections
    35. Not treating God like their servant, whose job is to appease them, and believing if He doesn’t then He doesn’t exist
    36. Not using people for purpose, not enjoying people as a company
    37. Giving high importance to friendship and community
    38. Worrying about our own contribution and not always thinking about what others are contributing
    39. Be the bigger guy, and not always wondering why they should be the only one nice
    40. Not worrying about quid pro quo and making every relationship and interaction transactional, keep passing the good deeds on
    41. Having an individual personality / not having herd mentality
    42. Inculcating a lifelong hobby, for your own happiness
    43. Having a life of your own, especially meant for old age
    44. Understanding the importance, power and responsibility of humans and having a sense of self
    45. Not putting dogmatism / pseudo-traditionalism over everything else
    46. Never avoid responsibility / never think about bending the rules even if there’s no one watching / never run away from accountability
    47. Do not imitate wrongdoings, corrupt activities with explanation that everyone is doing
    48. Do not use God as an excuse to bully others 
    49. Empathy!!!
    50. Accepting  your weaknesses, accepting feeling tired and will to rest is not a sign of failure
    51. Being bold / telling right from wrong with confidence and practicing the tough road
    52. Asking for help, especially when struggling mentally
    53. Asking for help for those who can’t ask for themselves
    54. Pick up fight for the weak
    55. Feel happy for others / do not feel insecure and jealous of others and their achievements
    56. Use money to feel happy too, not just save it for one day
    57. Enjoying / resting / relaxing without feeling guilty
    58. Not competing who works hard more / do not glorify mindless grinding / work hard for your own happiness not to please anyone else
    59. Appreciating public property and always keeping in mind fellow citizens, even if no one is watching and there is no penalty
    60. Respect for disabled and differently abled, working towards an inclusive society, understanding issues they face and how to solve them
    61. Thinking about how all strata of society, including animals and plants can be helped through our work
    62. Treating animals and plants with respect, not to hurt the weak in any form
    63. Selfcare is not selfish, it is important to take care of oneself if one wants to take care of others
    64. Taking education very seriously
    65. Mastering at least one skill which can earn you money, if nothing else works
    66. Learning is a lifelong process
    67. A nuclear family is separate unit, a joint family is still a bunch of individual nuclear units. Respecting each unit is healthy.
    68. Not to use elders especially parents as vending/ATM machines. They don’t owe their adult children anything. Everybody deserves a respectful life. A life of their choice.
    69. Respect should not be bought with money, least of all from your own family.
    70. Importance of ‘me’ time / importance of spatial privacy / break for everyone
    71. Your house should be your most comfortable place, invest in it
    72. You have one body, take care of it, invest on it, guiltfree
    73. Don’t ruin your happiness and relationships for work
    74. Outsourcing work when can’t take it / it’s okay to ask for help / make your money do your work so that you can be more efficient
    75. Understanding the importance of roles that people take up by choice and living it to the fullest
    76. Importance of manual hard work
    77. Taking risks more often, especially in career, saying yes to things which you are really passionate about

    Things parents of millennials taught their kids which probably made sense to them but are not working anymore:

    1. Self serving ideologies 
    2. Obedience
    3. Believing people can’t change
    4. Believing you don’t ask old people to change
    5. People are born as is, and their personality is carved in stone
    6. People willing to think out of the box are detrimental to society and against their practicing religions
    7. God is a cruel master who has favorite people / God is their slave (father) whose job to serve them as per their wish, He can’t deny their wishes
    8. There is no free will
    9. Love means people who love you should abide by you, even if it means tying a noose around their neck.
    10. You can make anyone happy with money.
    11. People who are in your life owe you your happiness, you don’t owe anything to yourself and others, as long you fulfill your duty as per your definition, even if it hurts others
    12. Life means duty
    13. Thinking not knowing basic life skills is cute and it is your spouse’s task to take care of your basic needs like you are a child
    14. Spouse and children are the punching bags sent to you by god
    15. Hypocrite personality- nice outside, bully at home
    16. Using money for charity and helping people, yet not fulfilling needs of family and creating a situation of financial scarcity at home
    17. Always telling family that there is no money yet wasting it in risky things
    18. Image is more important than truth
    19. One should never cry or cry alone, and not solve the problem ever. There is an award for people who suffer in silence.
    20. Never attempt to question or understand your religion on your own. Accept only those teachings that serve your purpose
    21. Treating people willing to help them as dumping ground
    22. Lack of responsibility in their own behaviour 
    23. Victim mentality, always telling how world did them wrong
    24. Materialistic success and power is the only way to feel like you have done big in life
    25. If you haven’t achieved a big position where everyone calls you sir/madam then you have failed.
    26. Respect is not by default but earned
    27. Respect is in order of power and money, background, age, gender
    28. It is okay to insult anyone younger, poorer than you, apologies are never in order
    29. Children have no right to respect. It is okay to hit them anytime, anywhere because you are older than them.
    30. Emotionally blackmailing their family members to do things that serves their ego or good for their image
    31. Guilt tripping their family members for not serving them or pleasing them as per their wish
    32. Unable to see things from another’s point of view if it means changing your own view or accommodating others needs
    33. Under the rug mentality / not talking about important issues to cater to emotional manipulation
    34. Toxic parenting / Not teaching life skills like finances and navigating emotions to children and expecting they can learn this by getting married
    35. Treating adult children as their savior who have to fullfill the role of spouses and parents, dumping on them the weight of unfulfilled desires on those who are not supposed to carry this burden
    36. Putting parental responsibilites on children, like taking care of younger sibling while still young themselves
    37. Treating parents like housekeepers, nannies, asking them to relocate without understanding their requirements and emotional needs
    38. Not working on a solid retirement and care plan especially for parents, when they haven’t been able to plan it for themselves, ignoring them in their old age as burden
    39. Parents making adult children feel guilty for following their dreams and living an indepedent life, in orde to cater to their unfulfilled desires
    40. As an adult, expecting and overrelying on your parents to still take care of your matters like you are still a child
    41. Parents unwilling to relocate when dependent on adult children, especially when there is no other option, behaving emotionally clingy to their hometown because they don’t like changing, creating emotional trauma for their adult children and family
    42. Genderification of parental and familial care roles, which gender is more suitable to take care of parents
    43. Not accepting there is an issue with your behavior when there is clearly one
    44. Treating their children’s spouses as outsiders
    45. Treating their children as adults who should know everything right from infancy and expecting from them ideal adult behavior since childhood
    46. Bullying and shaming children, be it young or adult
    47. Encouraging children to keep with abuse in the name of respect, traditions and image
    48. Using violence to teach children right behavior
    49. Not displaying love to their loved ones
    50. Number of offsprings as the sole indicator of happy marriage
    51. Not accepting different kinds of partnerships / relationships
    52. Pushing people who love them away and later making them feel guilty about it for not being there
    53. Unable to form a healthy community
    54. Putting up with toxic family members, because related by blood
    55. Changing perception of people on the basis of money in their bank
    56. Treating those people miserably who go out of the way to help
    57. Discouraging people for supporting one another
    58. Making children especially siblings or cousins compete with one another and compare their life, marriage, career throughout their life
    59. Obsessing over blood relationships and legacy
    60. Discouraging adoption and gender equality because of purist mentality
    61. Looking at roles, not the people playing them
    62. Accepting substances as healthy coping mechanisms and not seeking help for addictions

    A separate book is required to write about how different genders are treated in India, especially the outlook of millennials and previous generations.

    One would say why I am being so harsh to us?

    But speaking truth is honesty, not harshness.

    And remember honesty is the best policy. Well, in this case it definitely is.

    I extend the grace to ourselves and our elders for doing what was needed, in the toughest of situations.

    We survived. We made it. You had to be there to understand those times.

    We adapted according to the times and these practices and behaviours are result of how we managed to make the best of those sitations. We can appreciate all that.

    But this appreciation and understanding is taking away our chance to grow with the new world. We are unable to reap the benefits of our own efforts.

    The age of survival is gone, it’s the age of thriving.

    The grace we are extending to ourselves is being used as an excuse by our brains to stay as we are. Change is being avoided and conveniently ignored.

    We have mixed change with disrespect, while taking away the rights and opportunities of the new generation.

    We can spend many more decades in trying to mourn with our elders about the tough times they faced but it is taking away the chances of our future generations to become happier.

    And it is always the future generation that deserves more attention, because the previous generation lays the foundation of the future building.

    Who are we without our progeny?

    More is being lost by staying as we are. We owe it to the future to keep changing with times as we see them. This cycle will keep going on.

    We are the babies of evolution, not dropped from sky as is.

    It’s the wheel that moves that can reach the destination, nobody has reached anywhere by staying stuck in a puddle.

    While we contemplate whether to change or not, our families are becoming distant, the people we love are suffering alone, lonlier than ever. We drift them apart, a little further, everyday.

    Because the heart can take only so much pain, from loved ones.

    Hence, sure we cannot change the past, but we can stop passing it on. It’s time we learn the skills we were never taught. And, more importantly,  it’s time we stop glorifying the struggle and start celebrating the courage it takes to feel, connect, rest, and live with truth.

  • The Guru Syndrome: How Indians Outsource Emotional Work

    Why Indians Need a Guru / Religious Leader / Spiritual Guide / Cult Figure

    Indian ancestors figured out one thing for sure about themselves, we lack emotional honesty.

    And in the interest of future generations, they decided this weakness needed to be taken care of by someone Indians can’t shut down.

    Hence, the creation of gurus.

    Now please don’t confuse these with the actual enlightened gurus, the ones who guide you toward God.

    The gurus I’m talking about are those modern-day leaders who basically do the job of a therapist, tackling issues most Indians still fail to acknowledge as basic human needs:

    respect, trust, emotional safety.

    In India, there’s a deep-rooted belief that anything related to mental or emotional health should be hidden.

    Admitting it means you’re weak.

    We are masters at dissociation, denial, and drama, anything but having a calm, honest conversation to actually solve a problem.

    We play hide and seek with emotional wounds, thinking if we ignore them long enough, they’ll fix themselves.

    Our families live by an internalised rule:

    Stay in survival mode.

    True happiness doesn’t exist , only endless sadness, which (hopefully) death or pseudo-devotion to God might one day relieve.

    We’ve normalised sulking and complaining.

    We complain to each other, to ourselves, to the divine.

    We are a nation of issue-makers, not issue-solvers.

    Offer someone a solution, and they’ll reject it saying, “But it’s always been like this.”

    If someone dares to introduce a new mindset or healthier patterns, suddenly their dopamine crashes and cortisol dries up because where will they get the stress now to wake up at 4 a.m. and complain about how little they slept?

    Enter: the guru (read: thought leader / cult leader / religious mentor / spiritual coach).

    This person becomes your emotional spokesperson.

    They do the “difficult conversations” for you.

    They validate or invalidate your feelings.

    They might make you feel like the ultimate victim, or like a fool for being you.

    Either way, they often come with zero real solutions, just recycled wisdom, detachment sermons, and vague inspiration.

    In an ideal world, a true guru would help you navigate personal relationships, family matters, business dilemmas.

    Keep you aligned to dharma, kindness, ethics, and gently remind you to be a good human to others, animals, and yourself. They’d help you walk your path with peace and purpose.

    Sounds beautiful.

    But here’s the problem: most self -proclaimed gurus need help themselves.

    They aren’t therapists.

    Maybe they know scripture, sure, but that doesn’t mean they understand trauma, emotional safety, attachment wounds, or the complexity of human relationships today.

    They don’t push people to grow emotionally. They teach escapism.

    They offer band-aid advice, spiritual distractions, and avoidance tactics wrapped in fancy language.

    This not only stalls real growth, it actively damages relationships, and worse breaks people’s faith in both spirituality and common sense.

    People start to believe:

    “If even this wise person can’t understand me,

    then neither can my family, nor God.”

    The guru becomes a tool to bypass accountability.

    Parents use the guru to avoid answering their children’s questions.

    Spouses use the guru to avoid owning up to their role in conflict.

    But here’s the truth:

    Children don’t need gurus. They need emotionally available parents.

    And no matter how old you get, you remain God-like to your child.

    So don’t run from that responsibility.

    But what happens is, as parents age, they declare that “God is all that matters now.”

    Why?

    Because they avoided emotional healing all their lives and now feel it’s too late.

    So instead of trying to grow or make amends, they hide behind spiritual jargon and dump their mistakes on the guru’s feet.

    They call it maya and move on.

    And in doing so, either get emotionally abandoned by their children or continue to hurt them.

    The toxic cycle goes on.

    This isn’t limited to parent-child dynamics.

    Husband-wife relationships suffer too.

    Instead of talking to each other, people run to third parties who don’t have the emotional intelligence or context to truly help and end up complicating everything further.

    The result?

    Indirect WhatsApp statuses.

    Passive-aggressive Instagram stories.

    Cryptic posts about “being misunderstood.”

    A generation of dissociated, hurt, vulnerable people

    who don’t know how or where  to ask for real help.

    How to end this loop of helplessness?

    Parents, adults, please get used to having difficult conversations.

    That’s what being human means.

    It’s okay if someone tells you, “You hurt me.”

    It’s okay to say, “I’m sorry, how can we fix this?”

    It’s okay to not know what to say, but at least stay.

    If it feels too hard to sit with your emotions, please seek therapy.

    Individual, couple, family, whatever fits.

    There’s nothing wrong with learning how to navigate emotions.

    It’s a life skill.

    And no, we don’t just “figure it out”. We learn it, like anything else.

    The point of life is to live happily, as much as we can, without hurting others in the process.

    And that happiness takes work. It takes mutual learning, deep listening, and real effort.

    But it’s worth it.

    Because it brings peace.

    And isn’t that what we’re all ultimately chasing?

  • Shared DNA-blessing, burden or both?

    The Joy of Shared Traits

    There’s something magical about seeing families together. It’s such an underrated feeling, the way similar people with similar traits create a sense of connection. The same noses, the same eyes, the same cheeks or eyebrows.

    Even the way they walk or the shape of their fingers, it’s like nature is showing off, saying, “Look how clever I am.”

    I’m an obsessive pattern-seeker. I have to find connections everywhere. I’m very good at remembering people, their faces, their nuances, their quirky stories. It’s like I have a mini profile page for everyone I’ve ever met, and with little effort, I can pull it up anytime I want.

    Every time I see a family together, I get this fuzzy feeling. I rejoice in this small wonder that nature has created. The beautiful sharing of DNA, the way traits are passed down, it’s a quiet miracle.

    The Burden of Resemblance

    But not everyone finds joy in resemblance.

    Some people don’t like looking at their own face because it reminds them of someone who hurt them in the past. Imagine your face being your own burden.

    You might think you’re not aesthetically pleasing, but the truth is simpler: you haven’t healed yet. You haven’t been able to move on.

    Resemblance can be a double-edged sword. It connects us to those we love, but it can also bind us to those who’ve caused us pain.

    The same hands that bring comfort in one person can bring heartache in another.

    It’s a strange, heavy thing, to carry someone else’s traits when they’ve left scars on your heart.

    The Ephemerality of Time

    The ephemerality of time is real. Time is too short to not be spent with your loved ones, yet sometimes it feels unbearably long when you haven’t been able to reconcile with them. Or maybe life’s winds have carried you far from home, leaving you longing for the connections you once had.

    And then, one day, you see someone, your cousin, your sibling, your uncle, or your aunt. There they are, with the same body language, the same voice, the same wrinkles that you saw on your mother’s face. The same laughter, the same hands. For a moment, you’re back with the person you’ve lost. Your cold heart warms up again.

    You don’t feel so lost, even if it’s just for a little while.

    Maybe you keep coming back to these moments because that’s all that’s left.

    God is kind. He takes a lot, but sometimes He leaves a lot to carry on too.

    Finding Comfort in Patterns

    In the end, resemblance is both a gift and a challenge. It connects us to our roots, to the people who came before us and the ones who will come after. It’s a reminder that we’re never truly alone, even when we feel lost.

    But it’s also a call to heal, to untangle the emotions tied to our reflections and find peace with who we are.

    So, the next time you see a family together, take a moment to appreciate the wonder of resemblance. Notice the shared traits, the mirrored gestures, the quiet connections.

    And if you catch your own reflection in the mirror, remember:

    you’re not just a ripple in someone else’s story,

    you’re the center of your own.