Category: I-Q

Essays starting with IJKLMNOPQ

  • Prisoners Of The Mind: The Human Struggle

    The trouble with life is that it is made up of numerous moments. When times are good, you enjoy being in the moment, but when things aren’t going your way, every moment feels like a punishment. Life seems like a prison, and you become a slave to it.

    You keep banging your head against the invisible walls of time, trying to understand what led you here. It becomes even more difficult when you consider yourself a thinker-logical and rational-someone who can’t accept an irrational explanation for their problems. Yet, there often seems to be no rational reason for the random unpleasant events in life.

    How and when psychology became a rational branch is something that makes me wonder because, most of the time, when you can’t perform due to an emotionally troubled state, people call you useless or lazy. If psychology is the culprit, why shouldn’t a person see themselves as a victim, victim of their own mind or time, victim of their own evolution, which made them sensitive to others, victim of anything that now seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

    While people strive to be part of groups where they are truly in touch with their inner selves, a person who is authentically themselves at all times is often labeled impulsive. Why is everything paradoxical when it comes to real practices in the world? Every ritual has two sides: one bad and the other worse, yet we are forced to choose.

    When we begin to understand what we lack, we find ourselves at the brink of killing our own ideals. Once we realize that this lack is the cause of our troubles, it becomes difficult to act against it because doing so feels like acting against ourselves, against the truth. And everyone has a different version of the truth, yet everyone wants you to accept their version while you keep wondering: isn’t truth supposed to be absolute?

    Perhaps this is where we make the mistake. Maybe it’s not the truth we are offering or believing, but rather an explanation. And explanations change with time, according to our understanding of the problems.

    Maybe the key to everything is knowledge, awareness. The more we get to know things, directly and remotely related to our situation, the better we will be at accepting what brought us here.

    And maybe, then, our tombstones won’t silently read: “Still searching for a reason.”

  • Masters Of The Stage Or Masters Of Fate?

    I am a novice when it comes to acting. Not only did I hold various assumptions about the talent required, thinking it was no big deal, but I also believed acting was for those who couldn’t do anything else.

    Recently, I had an epiphany, a newfound respect for actors, when I realized that acting isn’t just impromptu. It’s rehearsed. And it’s not just a monologue all the time. There is a group of people working together to present a real-life situation in the most convincing way possible. I now understand why the term “timing” was coined.

    An actor already knows what will come next, yet they still hold the expressions the scene demands. They know their next line, but they wait patiently for their turn, responding as though hearing it for the first time. And while they wait, they don’t look bored or fake their reactions, they seem to be immersed in that character and that’s the mark of a great actor.

    This got me thinking about the mystery in our own lives. What if we knew what was coming next? Could we still stay present and play our part convincingly?

    If we knew we were going to die, get hurt, or lose everything, could we still be as happy in the present moment as we are now, oblivious to the future? Personally, I doubt that about myself.

    If we can’t even be good actors in the small plays of life, how could we expect to be good humans if we knew our fate beforehand? Would living still be as exhilarating if we knew exactly how it would unfold?

    Actors don’t just play one role in their lifetime, they embody many. With each character, they get to live as sinners and saints, lovers and villains. They don’t just recite lines; they feel what their characters feel, diving deep into the emotional and spiritual depths of those experiences.

    Maybe that gives them an unusual perspective, a glimpse into different kinds of human existence. They witness what it means to be selfish or selfless, cruel or kind, broken or whole.

    In real life, they probably get to choose who they want to be, based on those experiences.

    And that made me wonder, as humans, do we experience something similar? If we believe in multiple lifetimes, could it be that, deep down, we remember the lessons from each?

    Maybe not consciously, but somewhere in the fabric of our being, we carry those experiences, shaping the way we choose to live.

    If we could see all the beads on the string of life, every role we’ve ever played, every lesson we’ve ever learned, would we finally understand why we are here? Would it make us better? Or is the forgetting just as essential as the remembering?

    Would we be content knowing we were kings among kings in our past lives, yet choose not to start another hedonistic chapter in this one?

    Would we still be able to breathe if we remembered how barbaric we once were?

    Doesn’t it seem like a blessing that God made us forget what we probably once did, and gave us a seemingly clean slate to start again?

    After all is said and done, if we are just actors with no permanence of script in the grand scheme of things, it makes me wonder;

    are we all simply players in the great theatre of existence, striving for our final standing ovation?

  • Life Runs on Attention—Are You Paying Enough?

    Life is about attention.

    The first thing you learn about parenting is attention. From the very first second, a child craves attention. It is an evolutionary need for an offspring to seek attention because it is imperative for its survival.

    A human child is 200% dependent on its parents or caretakers. As a result, parents must constantly observe their young ones for any signs of need or discomfort.

    But does this basic need for attention truly disappear as we grow older?

    Call it what you may, no matter how much money or technology we accumulate, community and human support remain vital to our happiness.

    Humans may be able to survive with machines, but thriving, that is,building meaningful lives, requires connection.

    And yet, there’s a separate discussion to be had about whether a life that is merely survived is worth living.

    The need for attention evolves as we age. Its forms change, but the fundamental need to feel seen, heard, and cared for remains the same. However, as a community, we often fail to recognize the importance of attention, both in giving and receiving it.

    Three cheers for self-reliance and independence, but to what extent?

    To the extent that we isolate ourselves, believing we are above the need for community?

    Or to the point where we feel outcast, unable to integrate with those around us?

    Life, in many ways, is where the attention is. A person’s well-being, a business’s success, or a community’s strength often depends on whether and where problems are being attended to.

    But this raises deeper questions: how are we as individuals and as a society distributing our attention?

    Are we prioritizing what matters most, or are we leaving essential needs unattended while focusing on trivialities?

    The act of paying attention is a profound one. It demands presence, empathy, and action.

    As a community, we must learn to share the load. If one person struggles to carry their burdens alone, others who are more capable can step in to help. This collective attention can transform lives, strengthen relationships, and foster a sense of belonging.

    But the first step is recognizing the importance of attention, to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us.

  • Not So Free Will

    I have always felt agitated at the thought of being bound by limits. Being tied down circumstantially made me realize something.

    I am now doing things that I wouldn’t have done if I were not forced to. I do these things, as the rebel I am, because I have not been given the freedom to choose.

    This made me wonder, do we, or at least those of us who view humans as independent rather than co-dependent beings, simply crave free will?

    As thinkers, our ultimate aim seems to be freedom. Not freedom that comes at the cost of others’ rights, but a freedom where we are unbothered and unburdened by unnecessary interference.

    Yet, I began to question,why has living within limits become the hallmark of a civil society? Why does society insist that humans need to be trained or tamed?

    We are told that without rules, society would collapse and human life would spiral into chaos. But is that really true?

    Certain experiments, like the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment, suggest that given free will, people can quickly devolve into violent or immoral behavior.

    For reference, this Stanford prison experiment was a study by Philip Zimbardo at Stanford University (in 1971) where 24 male students were randomly assigned roles of guards and prisoners in a simulated prison.

    It was observed:

    1. Guards quickly became abusive.
    2. Prisoners showed stress, rebellion, and breakdowns.
    3. Planned for 2 weeks but ended in 6 days.

    Conclusion: Situations and assigned roles can strongly influence human behavior, leading ordinary people to act cruelly.

    These studies show how easily we adapt to roles without much thought. However, I wonder about the validity of these conclusions. The Stanford experiment may have been serious in intent, but how representative was its sample? A small group of people in a controlled environment cannot reflect the complexity of all humanity. Perhaps the setup itself was flawed.

    Are humans, then, like animals that require training? Even if that’s the case, can humans truly become “inhuman” under normal conditions? Just as an herbivore doesn’t suddenly become a carnivore overnight, can we say humans would abandon their morals and humanity if left unchecked?

    If humans aren’t inherently inhuman, why do we need so many rules about how to live? Isn’t it true that people often perform their best when given freedom and no pressure? Or are we saying that humans are fundamentally lazy, incapable of functioning without deadlines?

    This brings me to another question, is this why we believe in God? Do we need a higher authority because we are born slaves, or are we trained to feel like slaves?

    What are we, really? Are we naturally free beings, or are we conditioned to seek control and structure?

    These questions challenge the fundamental assumptions about human nature, free will, and societal norms. Are rules a necessity for order, or have we simply accepted them as a crutch because we fear chaos?

    Does the existence of structure mean we lack the ability to self-govern?

    And ultimately, does our belief in freedom stem from an innate desire to live authentically, or is it a rebellion against the chains we’ve been conditioned to accept?

  • Mental aur Physical Health: Dono Ke Liye Emotional Awareness Zaroori Hai”

    हमें अपनी मुश्किल फीलिंग्स के बारे में बात करने की ज़रूरत है, जैसे कि हमें  kis baat ka डर लगता है, kis baat ki chinta hai। Anxiety बहुत ज़्यादा crippling हो सकती है, लेकिन इसे दबाने के बजाय बात करना ज़रूरी है ताकि इसे system से बाहर निकाला जा सके। अगर हम अपनी negative emotions जैसे गुस्सा, stress और डर को बहुत लंबे समय तक छुपाकर रखें, तो हमारा nervous system auto-pilot पर चलने लगता है। Body defence mode में चली जाती है और हम खुद से दूर होने लगते हैं। सबसे stressful situations में हम एक घूमती हुई लट्टू की तरह हो जाते हैं, jo apne behavior ko control nahi kar sakta aur apne se pareshan ticking bomb ban jata hai।

    चाहे हम anxiety feel कर रहे हों, डर या गुस्सा, इन emotions को label करना ज़रूरी है। इन्हें acknowledge करना ज़रूरी है। इन्हें दबाना नहीं चाहिए, क्योंकि अगर हम इन्हें बहुत गहरा दबा दें, तो ये subconscious का हिस्सा बन जाते हैं। Chronic stressful emotions को दबाने से long-term बीमारियां हो सकती हैं, जैसे कि latest research कहती है। Long-term research यह बताती है कि chronic illnesses का एक major reason stress है। 

    हम सोचते हैं कि जो चीज़ हम खुद से भी deny कर रहे हैं, वो खत्म हो जाएगी। यह एक toxic societal thinking है। हां, कभी-कभी एक healthy nervous system और coping mechanisms के साथ, difficult emotions को side करना चल सकता है। लेकिन अगर हम बार-बार ऐसा करें, तो nervous system पर pressure बनने लगता है। यह literally fake it till you make it वाला approach नहीं है, क्योंकि एक दिन आपका body इसे बर्दाश्त नहीं करेगा, और अपने तरीके से collapse कर जाएगा। 

    जब हम difficult emotions को दबाते हैं, तो body के response में freeze, fawn, fight और flight जैसे reactions होते हैं। यह और भी ज़्यादा traumas बनाते हैं, जैसे space trauma, financial trauma, scarcity trauma,emotional trauma आदि। Nervous system के लिए यह एक आदत बन जाता है हमेशा defensive होने का। चाहे हम इन triggers को label न करें, यह फिर भी हमारे nervous system को कभी भी impact कर सकते हैं। धीरे-धीरे, यह triggers हमें define करने लगते हैं, और हमारी personality का हिस्सा बन जाते हैं। लेकिन असल में, हमारे triggers controllable हैं – practice और मदद के साथ। अब ज़रूरत यह है कि हम समझें और accept करें कि healthy nervous system क्या होता है। कब मदद लेनी चाहिए, और जो मदद लेते हैं उन्हें shame नहीं करना चाहिए। Mental stress को भी physical stress की तरह treat करना चाहिए, जिसके लिए हम तुरंत medical attention लेते हैं। Problem को पहचानना उसका 50% solution है। यह उम्मीद है कि society समझे कि brain और body या mind और body दो अलग चीज़ें नहीं हैं। दोनों को healthy रहना ज़रूरी है एक healthy और happy ज़िंदगी जीने के लिए।

  • Love Beyond Labels

    What is love, really? Is it admiration, desire, or something deeper we cannot define? Often, we confuse admiration with love. We fall for movie stars, teachers, idols, a popular senior at school or work or anyone we can look up to, mistaking the spark of admiration for the depth of love. It seems so natural to blend the two, but is it truly love, or just the awe of seeing something extraordinary in another person?

    Love takes countless forms, yet our minds often categorize it into two rigid boxes: sexual and non-sexual, platonic or amorous. When we love our friends for their warmth and support, it’s labeled as friendship. Ignoring homosexuality for a second, two girls sharing deep friendship are idolised as sisters and two boys in a very strong bond are called bromancing.

    But when affection grows too strong in the typical heterosexual eyes, the same possibly platonic friendship with opposite sex is suggested to be deep romantic unrealized love.

    Why are we in such a hurry to define and box every bond?

    Are we genetically programmed to seek closure?

    Perhaps uncertainty unsettles us.

    Living in the moment is uncomfortable when we don’t know where it’s heading.

    If we find happiness with more than one person, society brands the person as frivolous, a philanderer. If we focus on one person too much, we’re called obsessed.

    Why are we so desperate to label love, to control it, to make it fit into neat categories?

    How, then, can anyone be sure of themselves when it comes to love? At what point in life does clarity come? How many years must we live before we understand what love truly means?

    Look around, and you’ll see that after money, love is what we’re always chasing. But no single kind of love seems enough. We crave the unconditional love of parents and siblings, the camaraderie of friends, and the intimacy of romantic relationships. Yet, we also hope to find one person, a soulmate, who can fulfill all these needs.

    Does this mean we instinctively know love has many layers? Is it revealing that not all feelings labeled as love are the same?

    Love is called the greatest emotion, but why is it so entangled with want? Is wanting someone the same as loving them? Or is giving the true essence of love?

    When I see goodness in someone which nobody else can, making them a special person from just an ordinary person in my life, is that love?

    If I don’t particularly like someone but still can’t bear to let go of them, is that love, or moral responsibility?

    When did love, supposedly limitless, become confined by ethics and boundaries?

    Am I giving too much importance to love? Perhaps. But all I know is that I enjoy unraveling its mysteries.

    The questions it raises are as infinite as the emotion itself.

    Love remains the most beautiful, perplexing puzzle of all.