Category: A-H

Essays starting with ABCDEFGH

  • Cancerians: The Emotionally Intelligent Achievers

    (Born Between June 21 to July 22)

    Cancerians are perhaps one of the most fascinating zodiac signs. Often misunderstood as overly emotional or sensitive, they’re actually among the most complex and balanced personalities, masters at navigating both personal and professional worlds.

    In relationships, Cancerians can be a dream to be with. Caring, loyal, and deeply invested in the emotional well-being of their loved ones, they go far beyond the stereotype of being “just emotional.” They don’t just say things, they do.

    They’re also incredibly ambitious and hardworking. Many Cancerians are fiercely goal-oriented and take pride in excelling at what they do.

    The problem solvers

    What sets them apart is their deep desire to solve problems not just at work, but emotionally too. Even when they’re feeling stuck, their minds are quietly working on a way out. Before you’d suggest them to seek therapy for their mental health, they would already be done with 2 sessions.

    Ironically, this drive can sometimes lead them to suppress their feelings and throw themselves into work as a distraction. This emotional bypassing can eventually lead to burnout or numbness. So one of the most important lessons for Cancerians is to prioritize emotional healing just as much as their career.

    The overworked Cancerian

    They’re fully capable of balancing work and life, but only when things are going well. Their perfectionist tendencies often push them to put themselves last. They want to be the best at everything, and when things don’t go as planned, it can cause deep internal stress. Still, they rarely show it outwardly.

    Professionally, they maintain a composed and strategic front. They are always trying to hone their skills, and learn new things which makes them a wonderful asset to any organization.

    The social hero

    Their emotional intelligence also makes them loyal friends and nurturing partners. However, this can turn into overprotectiveness. And since they tend to hide their own emotions, they may sometimes come off as distant or cold. But beneath that exterior lies a heart that is always thinking of how to make life better for the people they care about. Their love is quiet, consistent, and powerful, even if it’s not always obvious.

    Cancerians are typically non-confrontational. They dislike loud fights or drama and value peace.

    Naturally diplomatic and wise, they thrive in people-centric careers,marketing, public relations, counseling ,anywhere their empathy and social skills can shine.

    In the head of a Cancerian

    At their core, Cancerians are deep thinkers. They overanalyze, reflect, and constantly seek meaning beyond the surface. Once they’ve checked the boxes of material success, they begin to search for something deeper like purpose, truth, fulfillment. They are always deeper than they seem to be, they may act humble but they have already made an opinion about things you haven’t even started thinking about.

    But this depth can sometimes be misread as arrogance. They hold themselves to high standards and expect the same of others, which might come across as controlling or distant. Despite being humble and helpful, they don’t always open up easily or engage in surface-level connections.

    The one who bounces back

    Because they give so much mentally, emotionally, spiritually, they’re vulnerable to disappointment when others don’t reciprocate. And even though they may not ask for help or show their wounds, they often carry silent emotional burdens.

    Still, Cancerians tend to know how to live well. They value stability, success, and reputation. They work hard to earn, maintain their image, and care for their health. They are gritty by nature.

    They are usually surrounded by many friends, though only a handful get close to their heart. Kind, helpful, and emotionally intuitive, they’re also smart enough to know when they’re being taken advantage of.

    They are natural leaders who are systematic, strategic, and excellent team players. They’re often great at research and analysis, thriving in intellectually stimulating environments. Many also excel in sports or physical health because they know how to care for their body and mind and have an ability to focus and train fiercely when required.

    The charming one

    They usually enjoy being quietly famous, admired by many because of their well rounded persona.

    Because they’re generally good at everything, you’ll find Cancerians succeeding in both athletic and academic fields. That doesn’t mean they never fail or fall sick, it just means they are gritty and determined. They don’t like staying stuck. They always find a way to move forward.

    Friendship and Social circle

    Cancerians are different from other sun signs, in terms of having a particular sense of people they want to be friends with. Cancerians are feelers, and they love talking, sharing their ideas and having conversations of all kinds. Hence, they need people who can keep up with their curiosity and are as diverse and keen as they are. They usually befriend people who are at least on the same IQ level, but definitely not less. They are also more civil and sophisticated than their surroundings and want to act in a way that doesn’t attract unwarranted and negative attention. They inherently always work on looking elegant and behaving more appropriately than where they come from.

    Hence they also tend to avoid people, who are always crying for attention through their behavior. If they love to be seen in public with you, then pat yourself, it’s an obvious reminder that you are better than you think. You have potential.

    The entrapment

    Their natural talent and strong work ethic often lead to success, and fame. But this ease of material accomplishment can become a trap. They may get caught in the success cycle and neglect their emotional needs or loved ones. That’s why it’s essential for them to slow down, enjoy the present, and spend time with people who matter without always thinking about the “next big thing.”

    Although Cancerians are not selfish, their mental priority list can make them appear that way. They’re headstrong and focused, but they still value input from those around them. They’re high on self-preservation and tend to avoid drama. Fun, but not at someone else’s expense. Idealistic, but grounded. They are particular about the principles they follow, and can’t be dissuaded easily.

    They’re also revolutionary in thought, natural thinkers who challenge outdated ideas and strive to improve life for themselves and their families. When it becomes too much, you will find them protesting on the roads. Yet they’re rarely reckless. You won’t usually find Cancerians engaging in risky behavior. They aren’t addicts or gamblers; they take calculated risks and tend to stick to their values.

    Love me or hate me

    In love, they can get possessive and insecure, but they never let those feelings damage the relationship. They’re not messy emotionally, they just love deeply. However, because there’s so much going on internally, sometimes you’ll need to earn their attention or ask for it directly. Passive-aggression or sarcasm won’t work, just be honest. If they sense they’re unwanted, they quietly retreat. They will give their loved one many chances but once they are done with the negativity, it’s over with them. You won’t want to be on the other side of that emotional detachment. It’s not that they’re vengeful, it’s that once they stop caring, they really stop.

    Their care may seem intense at times, but they’re skilled at reading social cues and usually won’t burden others. Even if they’re hurting, they won’t show it unless they feel safe.

    The curious one

    They are natural learners who love to explore the world, through travel, books, or conversations that open new ways of thinking. Their minds are curious, and their hearts are open. They have no attachment to outdated beliefs or habits that don’t serve them; in fact, they’re often the first to drop what’s flawed and move forward.

    Coconut Cancerian

    While they seem incredibly self-sufficient, Cancerians do need a solid emotional support system. Sometimes, it might feel like they lean on others just to recharge before diving back into their driven, professional world, but that’s only because they feel deeply and need emotional fuel to keep going. At their core, they’re sensitive souls masked as go-getters.

    World is their oyster

    They are also highly motivated by how the world perceives them. Whether it’s fashion, food, tech, or the latest trends within their area of interest, Cancerians love staying relevant not to show off, but to feel connected, capable, and part of something meaningful. They don’t chase attention; they chase alignment.

    In the end, Cancerians are quietly powerful. They might not always shout their strengths from rooftops, but if you pay attention, you’ll see them steadily building, deeply feeling, subtly leading, and always evolving. They’re the kind of people who make life richer through their loyalty, ambition, empathy, and silent determination to do right by themselves and those they love.

    And perhaps that’s what makes them so unforgettable.

    The negatives

    An unhealed Cancerian can come off as emotionally selfish and distant. They speak less, often opening up only to those they feel deeply connected to, and when that connection fades, so does their warmth. Rather than express what’s wrong, they shut down, making others feel unseen despite their efforts. Their emotional intelligence may still be present on the surface, but deep down, they’ve already withdrawn. Over time, they may become completely inaccessible.

    Also, because they are particular about knowledge and behaviour in general, if in the long term, one tends to behave inappropriately and if a cancerian has started to feel embarrassed because of you, they might avoid hanging out with you. They are rigid about outward presentation like that and can’t just be casual about it.

    Word of advice:

    Dear Cancerian,

    You already carry so much with grace, grit, and quiet resilience. You’re not “just emotional,” you’re deeply strategic with a radar for what people feel but won’t say. That’s your gift and your weight.

    So here’s your reminder: You don’t have to carry everything. Let some things unfold without micromanaging the outcome. Let love be light sometimes, not a responsibility to fix. And please feel without always needing to find a solution. You don’t need to earn rest. You don’t need to be useful all the time to be worthy of joy.

    Nourish your own inner world, not just others’. You are allowed to be messy, dreamy, and just be, without an agenda. You’re not failing if you slow down. You’re healing.

    Disclaimer

    This post is meant to be a light-hearted and fun exploration of Cancerian traits based on sun sign astrology. It is not intended to hurt, stereotype, or generalize anyone. We are all unique, and astrology is just one lens among many to understand personality. Please take it with a pinch of salt and enjoy it in the spirit it’s written-with curiosity and good humor!

  • Aquarians: The Quiet Center of the Room

    (Born between January 20 and February 18)

    Aquarians are some of the most intriguing people you’ll meet. At first glance, they may seem like they’re quietly standing in a corner distant, reserved, maybe even a little aloof. But make no mistake, they’re very much in the center of the room.

    They have an effortless way of making meaningful connections, despite how quiet or introverted they may appear. Truth is, they’re not really introverts, they just take time to warm up, observe, and feel the energy around them before jumping in.

    What makes them magnetic is their humility. Aquarians are usually very smart and sharp thinkers who pick up on subtle cues but they never flaunt it. This makes them surprisingly approachable, even though they’re extremely selective about who they truly let in.

    From the outside, this can seem like judgment, but it’s not. They’re simply reserved. If they don’t speak to you, it isn’t personal, it’s just that the energy isn’t aligning. But if you’re in their circle, consider yourself lucky.

    Aquarians are loyal, protective, and genuinely caring. They won’t invade your space, but they do want to be part of your inner world. If they like you, you’ll feel it, they’ll show genuine interest in your life, ask questions, and want to know your story.

    They are the friends who will be there to hide the body, all ready with crazy ideas how not to get caught too.

    In Work and Leadership

    Professionally, Aquarians are impressive. They’re great at seeing the bigger picture and picking up ideas from everyone around them. This makes them powerful team leaders, especially if they consciously work on being more approachable. Sometimes, their expression or body language can make them seem uninterested, which might push others away.

    But it’s not that they aren’t intelligent or capable, it’s just that they’re not always emotionally invested in small talk or social niceties. Still, when they do tune in, they know how to gather ideas, process them, and come up with one clear, thoughtful direction for the team.

    They’re humble too and the kind of leader people come to for help. Even if they seem like they don’t know much because they tend to not to brag a lot, they usually do know more.

    At times, they can seem a bit lazy or avoidant but it’s not because they don’t care. They just need rest. They value rest deeply and retreat often to recharge, which helps them maintain their internal equilibrium.

    Aquarians also enjoy being in the spotlight, but not by pushing others out of the way. They’re the kind of people who end up in the center without even trying because of their originality, insight, and calm charisma.

    Quirks, Longings, and Hidden Softness

    Aquarians have a soft spot for classy, elegant, even slightly eccentric things. They are oddly drawn to people who are their complete opposites who are confident, risk-taking, rebellious souls who do what Aquarians only think about doing. Because yes Aquarians long to be rebels. But they aren’t natural at it. They don’t stray from their inner rules easily. That’s why they often admire those who can break the mould. Deep down, they crave that same freedom.

    They don’t particularly crave attention, and if they’re secure within, they’re fine being out of the spotlight. Their high self-belief keeps them grounded. But even then, they need their circle, people they love, their anchor to remind them of their greatness.

    Because underneath all that poise and quiet confidence, Aquarians are kind of goofballs. They can get insecure in weird, materialistic ways like worrying about not keeping up with trends or success markers and they need someone to tell them it doesn’t matter. They’re innocent like that.

    Some Aquarians may try to be manipulative, but they’re often too nice and simple to pull it off. If they attempt to control outcomes, they’re usually caught off guard. They’re more likely to sabotage themselves than others especially when they don’t show up for the relationships they care about. That’s where their selfish streak shows up: not in hurting others, but in unintentionally neglecting what matters to them.

    They are thinkers and stubborn ones. Sometimes they can’t differentiate right from wrong because they’re lost in their own logic. But push them into a corner, and they’ll quietly slip away.

    When you hurt an Aquarian

    Aquarians won’t give up on people or show their cruel side, they just crawl back into their shell when they are hurt by someone. The other person won’t even realize things have changed. For this reason, Aquarians could be called as a soft sign, because they let people take chances to change. They understand human beings are full of flaws, and they are the people who would be first to forgive. But it also doesn’t mean they can’t tell when they are being manipulated, it’s just they avoid being hard hearted.

    For them this hardness is not worth it.

    They don’t dwell in revenge seeking etc, they prefer to live a better life than thinking about those who hurt them.
    They won’t fight to fix a barren relationship, they’ll use that energy to grow something better elsewhere. They’re not here to fight battles or prove a point.

    They’re here to live meaningfully, to make you pause, and remind you of the beauty in the little things.

    All in all

    Aquarians are innocent, smart, and paradoxical souls. They want to be free but often follow quiet self-made rules. They appear strong but are full of insecurities. They don’t want to hurt or be hurt. They are fun-loving pranksters with deep thoughts, quiet doers who pull off big moves when no one’s looking.

    They need encouragement, security, love, and space and in return, they’ll give you loyalty, perspective, and that rare kind of love that protects without smothering.

    They may take time to open up, but once they do, you’ll realize you’ve met someone unforgettable.

    When thinking of attending an event where you need to be all serious, avoid sitting with them. They have a habit of making everything nonserious when they are with their friends.

    The negatives

    An unhealed Aquarian may leave, not always physically, but emotionally, when a situation no longer serves them. They’re not necessarily cheaters, but they tend to detach quickly rather than stay and struggle.

    Because they value freedom and self-defined logic, they can sometimes justify selfish choices, overlooking emotional consequences. Their moral compass is often shaped more by personal desire than by traditional values, which can make them appear emotionally distant or inconsistent in relationships.

    Word of advice


    Dear Aquarian,
    You often feel like you’re observing life from a slightly elevated place, not above others, but just elsewhere. You think in patterns, dream in ideals, and live in questions. That makes you rare. But sometimes, it also makes you lonely.

    Don’t let your independence turn into isolation. Your mind is brilliant, but don’t let it silence your heart. People may not always “get” you right away but that doesn’t mean you don’t belong. You don’t have to soften your edges to be loved but do let others near them. Let someone in, even if they can’t match your pace or depth.

    You don’t need to prove your uniqueness, it’s already there. What you might need more is permission to feel, to stay, to let intimacy evolve slowly. You’re not here just to challenge norms, you’re here to experience life, not hover above it.

    Let your intellect serve connection, not replace it.

    Disclaimer:

    This post is meant to be a light-hearted and fun exploration of Aquarian traits based on sun sign astrology. It is not intended to hurt, stereotype, or generalize anyone. We are all unique, and astrology is just one lens among many to understand personality. Please take it with a pinch of salt and enjoy it in the spirit it’s written-with curiosity and good humor!

  • Perfectionism: Is it enabling you or draining you?

    (A sneak peek into the mind of a perfectionist, who is unable to find their self esteem without validation from others)

    I’m tired of this mind of mine, so tender, it bruises with every word. The one that gets hurt at the slightest comment.

    The one obsessed with validation.

    My entire sense of worth seems to hang on someone else’s words.

    I have this maddening urge to explain myself until the other person finally says, “I get it. I still like you. You weren’t wrong.”

    Why can’t I be wrong? Why am I so attached to being right?

    I’m sure my moral compass was shaped in childhood, by parents who believed that making a mistake meant you were a bad person. So to me, being a good human meant being a perfect one. Nothing less of perfection.

    It’s become an obsession: to be right, always right. And when I’m not, I spiral into anxiety. Then I expect others to accept my shortcomings, because I wasn’t raised right, because I have issues, because I am broken.

    And the burden falls on the ones who love me to accommodate my madness, my fears, my tears, my jolts, my frenzy, my apparent lovelessness.

    It becomes a vicious cycle: “Please don’t hate me, I’m not bad”—to—“Go to hell, you’re wrong and imperfect.”

    Self-preservation takes over when someone tries to push me into a corner.

    I growl like a grizzly bear to scare them away, but on the inside, I just want a hug.

    I want to be told I’m still loved.

    I often observe others, watching how they go about their day, without any apparent worry of the world.

    I don’t understand how people live with their imperfections without constantly fearing ridicule or rejection. I can be kind to strangers, compassionate to broken people, accepting of their flaws.

    But in close relationships, I run a tight ship.

    So tight, it’s suffocating.

    And truthfully? It’s exhausting to live with me.

    I’m constantly analyzing myself, putting myself on trial, playing the jury, the judge, the lawyer, the culprit, and the victim. It feels like I’m holding a fragile ship together. One wrong move, and everything sinks.

    Yes, yes,I know I need help!

    But here’s the question that haunts me: Does wanting to be right mean I need help?

    I fear that if I start letting go, if I start accepting things as they are, I’m giving up on myself.

    Accepting would mean my thoughts aren’t really changing. I’ve just muted my voice.

    I fear I’d become a fake. A hypocrite. An inauthentic.

    So what to do now?

    Should I end relationships where I don’t let the other person breathe?

    Should I only stay close to those I can accept easily?

    Should I keep pushing people to be better?

    Where’s the line between nagging and nurturing? Between trying and accepting?

    Why does acceptance sometimes feel like enabling cruelty? And why does trying to fix things make me feel like the villain?

    If I don’t sound urgent, will people even take me seriously?

    How much time are we wasting hurting each other—hurting ourselves—just to be ‘right’?

    How do I handle the casual disdain people seem to have for empathy and accountability? How far do I go in trying to show them a different way?

    How to tell them their bare minimum is not enough?

    What’s the ideal distance in relationships? What’s hypocrisy, and what’s authenticity? What does it mean to “let people be” versus trying to make a relationship work?

    And then I wonder: what is stopping them, and what is stopping me, from accepting?

    Behind the refusal to accept is fear.

    Fear born in childhood, or maybe adulthood, during those moments when you were left alone, helpless.

    The phoenix in me wondering, whether to rise from the ashes or stay hidden.

    When the hand that was supposed to save you pushed you deeper into the swamp instead.

    You felt like you’d die in those moments.

    But you survived. Heroically.

    At a cost.

    You lost faith. In people. Maybe even in God.

    Now, the only person you trust is yourself, because it was you who pulled yourself out. And even when someone offered help, they didn’t reach in time.

    So now, you plan. You judge. You micromanage every outcome. To avoid vulnerability.

    People might think you’re strong, wise, put-together. But really you’re just scared.

    A scaredy crow who can’t handle surprises. You spin like a top, terrified of falling.

    This perfection isn’t superiority. It’s inferiority, wearing a mask. It’s fear pretending to be in control.

    And when you look at others, you wonder: How are they just living? Not micromanaging? Not terrified of mistakes?

    You’re triggered by their ease. Their confidence. Their oblivion. You scoff at them, call them naive. But in quiet moments, you wonder: Who sleeps better? You or them?

    Maybe you’re jealous. Maybe you envy how little time they spend in fear.

    Your fear shows up as control. As nagging. As intensity. You become the party pooper. The energy zapper.

    But there’s an opposite extreme too: The avoiders. The numb ones. Those who were never taught to handle hard emotions. So they freeze. Scoff. Numb.

    They call emotional people dramatic. They label vulnerability as weakness.

    But deep down, they’re as fragile as you. They just express it differently.

    Addictions often live here: in food, screens, working out to look a certain way, alcohol, sex, shopping, even cleaning. Anything to escape the storm inside.

    So there’s a middle path. There has to be.

    One extreme says stop at the sight of trouble. The other says ignore the signs and run. But the middle path says:

    Pause.

    Feel your feelings. Sit with discomfort. Then choose your next move, with kindness, with strength, with clarity.

    Tell yourself when difficulties are looming over your head, that you are strong enough to face it. You are loved enough to ask for support. You are mature enough to know who to ask. You are kind enough to accept failure. And wise enough to begin again.

    You don’t have to feel ashamed of making mistakes and seeking help. You help others feel whole when they think they’re missing something to be happy and worthy.

    I read somewhere, Not making mistakes is not perfection but growing continuously changing continuously as per the lessons is perfection.

    So now to me, this is what a healthy mind looks like: A mind that can handle what life throws at it—with quiet dignity. Even if it stumbles, it rises.

    It knows how to hold itself. And when it can’t, it’s confident enough to reach out. Not in desperation, but in strength.

    It doesn’t dwell in shame. It doesn’t seek constant validation. It simply knows:

    The space it holds on this Earth is already its own, and it doesn’t need to be earned or justified.

    I hope all the broken ones find peace. I hope they’re met with warmth instead of suspicion. That their concerns are treated like real wounds. That they are supported like they never were before.

    I hope they know: They matter. Without effort. Without perfection. Without asking.

    Always.

  • Echoes of a Love Long Gone

    Love and human emotions are complex, capable of offering a wide range of experiences even when the circumstances seem similar. The process of loving someone, feeling disconnected from them, and eventually losing interest follows a pattern many have lived through, yet it feels unique every time.

    Loving someone who was once close, not necessarily an ex-partner, but a family member or a friend who no longer reciprocates the same warmth, is a quiet rollercoaster in itself. Keeping up with someone who no longer shares their life with you, who remains a mystery despite once being an open book, can feel like chasing a mirage.

    You think you know them, but then a void appears, an ever-present gap in your understanding. You yearn for just one missing piece to complete the puzzle of your relationship, of their life, of a shared existence.

    You rarely ask those who know them because you don’t want to seem like you care, even when you do. Instead, you subtly seek clues, scrolling through their social media, piecing together fragments of their world. Sometimes, they reveal something unexpected, something you could never have imagined. Other times, a mutual friend shares a detail that leaves you utterly shaken. Sometimes, you learn something that makes you wonder if you ever truly knew them at all.

    But then comes a stage, after much heartbreak, where you finally give up. The love that once burned fiercely now flickers weakly. You realize you will never be part of their inner world, and in one way or another, they have disappointed you too many times. You’re no longer in their close circle, no longer a favorite, perhaps just a number in their contact list, blocked and unblocked more times than you can count.

    After the storm of emotions passes, indifference sets in. Not hatred, hatred may have had its moment, but now, you no longer wish to know more. Their life no longer intrigues you. Their secrets no longer tempt you. Their interests no longer find a place in your world. Self-preservation has replaced your need to be accepted.

    This is where love, long ailing, finally takes its last breath. It hurts, perhaps just a little, but you know better than to give in.

    Months go by. You both have likely removed each other from social media, not because you wanted to, but because they made it clear you no longer belonged in their life, and you couldn’t bear the constant reminder. So one of you deleted, unfollowed, or blocked the other, each choosing a different path.

    But then, unexpectedly, through some forgotten app, a rare notification, or a mutual group chat, you catch a glimpse of their life again. A recent update. A passing mention. And for a moment, it all comes rushing back. A jolt in your chest. A sinking feeling in your stomach. The urge to look away, yet unable to.

    For a fleeting second, the old love is reminded.

    You take a breath. Maybe a minute, maybe an hour, maybe a day. But then, once again, you remind yourself, it’s not worth it anymore. Probably never was.

    And with that, you repeat the one truth you’ve come to learn:

    What is not watered will not grow—no matter how much you once wished it would.

  • Ant- The Teacher

    Once upon a time there was a boy named ray. Ray was a very inquisitive boy who always wanted to learn something new.

    Ray’s father was a small time mechanic in the local garage and he did not earn so much that he could keep up with Ray’s learning needs.

    One day Ray was really upset, feeling neglected that his family could not provide him with all of his wishes and needs. While he was complaining to god about all this, he saw a bunch of ants trying to lift a big sugar cube. What he saw inspired him for his life.

    Next day he ran an idea with his close group of friends. That’s how Ray’s Rental started. They started to rent their own toys and books and other things at a nominal price, which kids of their age would require and couldn’t afford to buy otherwise. This way not one person had to endure the burden of the whole thing, just like ants where a group helped to carry the cube not just one ant.

    Not only sharing your burden financially or emotionally helps ease one’s life but also it builds a thriving community where everyone is aware of each other’s needs and every one of the members of the community do their part to make everyone happy.

  • Children & Parents- Two Sides Of A Coin

    One of the most empowering things children do is follow their parents to the T. For those parents who tell that their kids do not to listen to them, they should know that, even before they realize it, their children are copying their behavior.

    What is problematic in them is problematic in you. What is lovable in them, they have acquired it from you.

    Even though parental wounds are real, it’s deeply saddening to see how many parents don’t realize that having children is like receiving God’s love language.

    However we receive our children, it is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. It’s an act of love toward ourselves.

    I understand that one needs to be healed enough to fully cherish this, but if you’re in a place where you can see your child for what they are, not what they could be, you will feel a glowing ball of love in your heart.

    Your child is here to show you the way you love—they are a mirror of how you love yourself. If what I’m saying hurts you, then perhaps you are also hurting yourself.

    It’s a painful realization that our children must endure suffering that should only be ours. But since we can’t change this, what we can control is how we see ourselves—and in return, how we see our child.

    We owe it to our children to be the best version of ourselves possible.

    And by “best,” I don’t mean the worldly best, but rather the version of ourselves that we can lean on when we need support. This way, our children will learn to love themselves the way we love ourselves, unapologetically.

  • How Does It Feel Falling In Love With Someone

    (A millennial’s version)

    The age-old question. Maybe when you are a teenager. Maybe when you’ve been hurt so many times that your heart has stopped feeling. Maybe when you’ve been with someone for so long that love has faded into mere habit. Whatever the reason, this question haunts millions, and always will.

    Understanding love, the yearning for it, is one of life’s greatest dilemmas. At times, it feels impossible to differentiate between a crush, infatuation, or true love. But for now, let’s talk about love-the kind that makes you want to be with someone, in any and every way.

    We may try to separate admiration, platonic love, or protective affection, but the most perplexing kind is amorous love, the deep, undeniable desire to be with someone both physically and emotionally.

    The first sign? A definite interest in their life. A clear, positive interest means attraction, but sometimes, it manifests as irritation or even repulsion-why, no one really knows. If someone is on the receiving end of such behavior, I would never suggest mistaking a bully for a secret admirer. But the truth is, some people struggle to express warmth at first, or they themselves are confused by their emotions, making things even more confusing.

    Yet, if their presence sparks a rush of energy, a quickened heartbeat, a clouded mind, or burning ears, if you suddenly become hyper-aware of your own face when they’re around, chances are, you’re drawn to them.

    If you can’t help but be interested in their personal life, if hearing their name makes you feel lightheaded, if your hands tremble when touching something they’ve touched, if you’ve memorized their routine and favorite songs, if you secretly take candid pictures of them, if you know the exact shape of their eyes and nose by heart, and if just standing next to them sends electric waves through you,then you are truly, deeply infatuated.

    If they sit behind you, you dare not turn around for fear they might see the madness in your eyes. Writing their name becomes a pastime. You imagine them in every love song, every movie, every poem. You’ve stood outside their house just for a glimpse. You’ve lingered in places they frequent, hoping for a chance encounter.

    Looking into their eyes feels dangerous because they’d instantly know how much space they occupy in your thoughts. So instead, you hide within a crowd, just to watch them from a safe distance.

    If you’re already friends with them, you tread carefully. You hesitate to show too much care, yet somehow, you’re always the first to rush to their aid. Jealousy flares when they pay attention to someone else. You twist time and schedules just to be near them, ensuring they never glimpse your struggles. Your day starts with them and never truly ends, sleep merely interrupts the thoughts of them.

    Then comes the stage where your feelings refuse to be contained. It feels like your heart will burst if you don’t tell them. So you drop hints, sometimes subtle, sometimes glaring. You find yourself playing attention games, getting mad over the smallest things, hiding away just to be found by them.

    You stop speaking to them, not because you want to, but because every word feels like it could betray your secret. And so, the push and pull begins, a silent battle between revealing your heart and guarding it, unsure whether to risk everything or hold onto your fragile, unspoken world.

    Whatever the ending, every love story is different, in terms of outcome and the length. Love taps you on your shoulder when you least expect it, nudges you to take the first step and when you are in the middle of your journey, brings you a choice, if you want to pursue further or stop right there.

    Whatever the choice, it is not easy to make. Hell, even after choosing, there could still be regret. Because love stories are messy, at least the real ones are.

    Lucky are those whose love is recognized and returned. My heart aches for those whose love remains unrequited. Perhaps that is the paradox of love-it demands to be felt, yet it often defies logic.

    We spend our days longing, analyzing every interaction, deciphering unspoken words. But love has its own will, moving in ways we cannot predict or control.

    Love, in its unpredictability, often takes unexpected routes. It can be fleeting, it can be patient, and sometimes, it circles back when you least expect it. Sometimes, love comes back when you’re no longer around-days, weeks, years, even decades later. But no matter the outcome, experiencing love in its rawest, most unfiltered form is a blessing.

    Yes, love can be painful. It can end in heartbreak. But years from now, when you look back, you’ll remember not just the ache but the depth of your yearning. The intensity of your emotions. The sheer capacity of your heart to feel.

    Because to have truly lived is to have felt-immensely and intensely.

  • A Missing Village : A New Mother’s Reality

    The Vanishing Village

    Today, I came across a rather popular quote about how new mothers once had a village, but now that village is nonexistent. Now, new moms not only have to prepare for the arrival of their child but also brace themselves for a long and exhausting battle.

    We are the village. Yet, the village that was supposed to nurture new mothers now either hunts them or shuns them. The very people—the elders, the parents, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the seniors in the family—whose age and experience should have made them more empathetic, often let their egos dictate their behavior. Instead of offering support, new mothers are met with judgment, control, and unsolicited advice.

    It becomes a battleground—help is conditional, given only if the mother submits to their terms. Otherwise, they gossip, withdraw support, and choose to criticize from a distance. It is as if they are not family but like hired, imposing know-it-all consultants who believe their presence is a privilege, not a duty of love. When things go south, they are the first to step away and blame the situation.

    Sometimes, the village just watches from the sidelines, observing her through the lens of toxic tradition and fake dogmatism, while she burns in frustration and pain.

    The Maturity Paradox

    Adjusting after marriage is challenging, but I won’t delve into that here. That phase is new for everyone. What stands out is that many adults—elders included—are as emotionally immature as children. They refuse to learn from their mistakes or take accountability for their actions. If elders don’t know how to handle their emotions during difficult times, how can they expect the younger generation to navigate major life changes like marriage and parenthood with perfect maturity?

    Motherhood: A Sacred Duty

    But motherhood is sacred. It is a celebration beyond the institution of marriage. Bringing a child into this world, whether within a marriage or outside of it, deserves respect. This child is the future. And as living beings, protecting the future is our collective responsibility. It is an unspoken yet fundamental duty that nature itself has given us.

    Yet, somehow, parenting is treated as the mother’s burden alone. When a mother is left unsupported, everyone suffers—the child, the father, the extended family, society, and eventually even the country. After all, the baby who is overlooked today could grow up to be anyone—a saint or a sinner, a prime minister or a farmer. The baby always matters.

    And if the baby matters, then the mother matters too. A child is as calm and healthy as their mother is, as peaceful as she nurtures them.

    The Inverted System

    We have gotten everything backwards. Yes, traditionally, patriarchal structures placed men as providers and protectors, but why? Because if the mother spent all her energy providing, who would nurture? Family is the center of humanity because healthy gene propagation is the purpose of life. It doesn’t matter who gives birth—what matters is that the young ones are nurtured. Because through them, civilization continues to live, not just survive. It is in interest of everyone to support parents while they put their heart and soul to raise the child.

    It is our responsibility—yours, mine, everyone’s—to ensure that the future thrives, not just exists. We are all part of an ecosystem. We need each other.

    A Mother’s Mental Health

    It should be obvious, but a mother’s job isn’t just physical. If she is burning out while still handling all baby-related chores, she risks passing that exhaustion onto her child in ways she doesn’t even realize.

    Core wounds—deep emotional scars formed before a child understands emotions—can develop when a mother is too drained to soothe, be present, or meet her baby’s attention needs. A child’s emotional well-being depends on the mother’s. A burnt-out mother can’t mother in a healthy way. A child mirrors their mother’s emotional state, sensing her distress subconsciously, which shapes their adult self.

    A child can either have a healthy childhood or spend adulthood healing from unintentional wounds.

    A birthing mother is different from any other caretaker of the baby because her body biochemically, physically, and psychologically changes, and it is completely out of her hands. Yet, it is left to her to handle her mood swings. She is shamed for a changing body, and she is shamed for feeling tired.

    If she were the queen, she would receive the treatment of a slave.

    Evolutionary Design

    Maybe evolution made mothers this way—hormones taking years to regulate, the body needing time to feel like itself again. This way, the mother would spend more time with the baby, increasing the chances of survival for the baby from the caveman days. Maybe this is why oxytocin floods a mother’s system when she cuddles her baby, creating a bond that benefits both. Studies focus on the child’s needs, but the mother also benefits from the warmth and connection. Evolution designed this to increase survival chances—so why does society in the 21st century act as if the question is still about survival, not thriving?

    Yet, modern life refuses to acknowledge a mother’s healing. Many mothers experience lifelong pain that started after childbirth, yet it’s normalized. Women are treated as if they were born with skills to be a mother, pre and post-partum both. Instead of focusing on aftercare, people romanticize how women in hunter-gatherer societies gave birth alone and resumed survival tasks immediately.

    But if every industry today is optimizing for comfort and efficiency, why must motherhood remain brutal?

    The Dilemma of a New Mother

    A new mother is not just overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a perfect parent—she is also battling for her identity.

    Unlike previous generations, manipulated into believing child-rearing was their sole purpose, the modern mother has worked hard for her independence. Yet, when she takes time off to focus on her child, she is pressured to maintain her pre-motherhood career at full force. Society pushes women to have children before the biological clock runs out, but once they do, it shames them for taking a break, lest they become obsolete.

    People remind her how much money and opportunity she is losing. They insist that no matter how good a mother she is, her worth is still measured by her body and career. She is made to feel guilty—both for stepping back and for wanting to return. She is expected to do it all, to prove that all the years spent building her career weren’t wasted.

    I wonder what a woman thinks in those moments—holding her child, feeling the width of her new body, doubting how she will be ousted from the job she slaved for years to earn. And there is no break for her, neither at work nor at home.

    And if she does return, she faces skepticism. Employers hesitate to trust a mother. They assume she won’t be as dedicated because her mind will be elsewhere.

    Meanwhile, men—expected to be unshakable worker drones—aren’t even allowed to enjoy fatherhood. Why are corporations so emotionless? Who are we making money for if it prevents us from experiencing the beauty of being human—from watching our children grow, from cherishing the years when they first start making sense of the world through us?

    A Spiritual Perspective

    My limited understanding of Sanatan Dharma tells me that a wife receives half of her husband’s good karma, yet none of his bad karma affects her after death. A woman can achieve spiritual liberation more easily than a man. God listens to her prayers sooner. Even divinity acknowledges the struggles of a woman—but we, the people, fail to see the struggles of the women among us.

    The human who brings and nurtures another human into this world is sacred—not just because she can, but because of what it takes to raise a young one. It requires everything. And if she is willing to give that, she deserves everything in return.

    At this point, I extend this sentiment to anyone raising a child alone—including single fathers. But since society reserves a special kind of cruelty for mothers, the focus remains on them.

    The Warrior Without Armor

    So why do families choose to hurt new mothers when they are already at their most vulnerable? Yes, new moms are superheroes, but why have we normalized their suffering? Why do we glorify their struggle instead of making their journey easier?

    We admire a warrior who fights even while bleeding, but would we ever send a warrior into battle without armor? Without a shield? Without a sword,especially a king?

    In chess, the queen is powerful, but the king is protected at all costs. He represents the bloodline, the knowledge, the survival of his kingdom. And in our family system, who is the king? The mother. And who is her armor? Her family, her partner, the people who are supposed to stand by her.

    Yet, instead of standing as her armor, society becomes another battle she must fight.

    A mother’s armor is not a diaper bag or a bassinet. It is the people she can rely on without guilt. The ones who tend to her wounds—not the physical ones, but the emotional ones, the silent tears hidden beneath the storm of hormones.

    A mother is not just a caretaker; she is the foundation of the family. Her body, mind, and emotions are forced to change beyond her control, yet she is expected to manage it all alone.

    The Final Question

    Living with a new mom is not easy. She is emotional, unpredictable, and overwhelmed. She is trying to be perfect yet constantly feels guilty. And, instead of helping her, we judge her. Instead of protecting her, we make her feel unworthy.

    But at what cost? What do we gain by breaking the very person who is shaping the next generation? What kind of world are we building if we neglect the hands that raise it? Can we not strive to be more patient and empathetic towards her while she learns the ropes of motherhood?

    It is imperative—urgent—for society to reassess its priorities. Is it people or tradition? Is it kindness or ego? 

    And as a mother, I ask again: Where is the village?

  • How to Make and Maintain Lifelong Friendships- A Millenial’s Guide

    Friendships are one of life’s greatest joys, but they don’t just happen—they require effort, understanding, and care. Here’s a detailed guide to making and maintaining healthy, close friendships, based on what I’ve learned over the years.

    Making New Friends

    Start with Shared Interests

    When you find someone you’d like to be friends with, connect with them on social media or platforms where you can share similar interests. If you meet regularly (like at work or college or gym), take every chance to hang out. Observe their likes and dislikes, but avoid intruding into their personal space. Speak less, observe more. This helps you understand them better without overwhelming them.

    Stay Connected

    Add them to messaging apps like WhatsApp to keep in touch regularly. Start with casual conversations about the common interests that brought you together. If they seem interested, slowly suggest meeting up. For example, if you both love coffee or playing similar sports, then you could suggest meeting up for those common activities.

    Take It Slow

    Don’t push for meetings too soon. Let it happen naturally, especially if it’s a workplace friendship. Avoid one-on-one meetings until you’re comfortable with each other’s silence. Remember, friendship is about ease. If you’re not sure, stick to group hangouts initially.

    Be Patient

    Aim to meet at least once every two months initially, but don’t take it personally if responses are sporadic. People have busy lives, and it takes time to understand whether someone is introverted or extroverted. Give them the benefit of doubt.

    Maintain Self-Respect

    Keep a bit of self respect/restraint initially to avoid coming off as clingy. Let the friendship develop naturally without forcing it. For example, if they cancel plans, don’t immediately reschedule—wait for them to suggest another time. Sometimes it may take months for you to meet your friend, thats how adult life is. But as long as you are connected and regularly in touch, it is positive sign that friendship is mutual.

    Validate and Appreciate

    Praise your friend often. Let them know you see and hear them. Remember their likes, dislikes, and the little details they share with you. Thank them for the good times you’ve had together. Be kind—sometimes, friends can show a level of kindness even family can’t.

    Here are some gestures to show you care:

    If they’re struggling with their health, show up with fruits or something thoughtful.

    Offer to help with small tasks, like picking up something they need or running an errand.

    Listen without judgment when they vent or share their struggles.

    Celebrate their wins, no matter how small—send a congratulatory text or treat them to coffee.

    Avoid financial entanglements early on, as they can complicate the friendship.

    The key is to make them feel valued and appreciated without overstepping boundaries. Small, thoughtful actions go a long way in building trust and closeness.

    Align Values

    Understand their value system and see if it aligns with yours. Discuss/notice political or moral differences early on to gauge how much divergence you can handle. For example, if they have strong opinions on a topic you disagree with, ask yourself if it’s something you can respect or if it’s a dealbreaker.

    Maintaining the Friendship

    Remember Important Dates

    Set reminders for birthdays and other significant events if you tend to forget. Small gestures like a thoughtful message or a surprise call can make their day.

    Get Involved in Their Life

    Ask about their daily struggles, family, and work. Offer help when you can, even if it’s just checking in to see if they’re okay. Share your own experiences and ensure the friendship isn’t one-sided. For example, if they mention their mom is unwell, ask about her the next time you talk. But also notice how much they remember stuff about your life in general. Do they check up on you when you or your loved ones are stuggling? Do they try to understand what bothers you and if they are willing to support you in any capacity during that time. This ensures balance in friendship.

    Stay in Touch Regularly

    Meet at least once every 2-4 months, and have monthly phone /text/video catch-ups. Keep the conversation continuous by asking about ongoing issues or updates. Validate their feelings and avoid preaching unless they ask for advice especially about work or relationships. Usually people have a notion that giving unsolicited advice is the mark of a good friend. But when it’s done early on when the trust is not very much built, it seems like intrusion. So one should be really cautious while offering advice on matters which you think are critical for the person like physical or mental health, work, relationships and family. 

    Show Appreciation

    Even if you don’t talk often, send texts once in a while to remind them how much you value their friendship. Compliment the time you’ve spent together and express how much you miss hanging out. For example, you might be crossing one of the cafes they like, and you can text them how fun your last meeting was and you would love to catch up again at their favorite cafe. 

    Let Go of Ego

    At this stage, you can initiate calls and meet-ups without overthinking. Just ensure the effort feels reciprocated. If you’re always the one reaching out, it’s okay to gently bring it up and see if they’re willing to put in more effort.

    Plan Visits

    If you’re in different cities, make it a point to meet when you’re in their town or vice versa. Prioritize seeing each other. For example, if you’re visiting their city, let them know in advance so you can plan a meet-up.

    Involve Families

    Start meeting each other’s families. Let your name become a household name in their life, and invite them into yours. Slowly become a part of each other’s worlds. For example, invite them to family dinners or celebrations.

    Solidifying the Friendship

    Become Family

    At this stage, you’re more than friends—you’re family. Even if you don’t talk for months, you’re still each other’s go-to person. There’s no ego, just love and trust.

    Be There for Each Other

    Help with tasks they’d usually ask family to do—taking them to the hospital, helping with groceries, or caring for their pets, kids, or plants. But only do what you’re comfortable with. For example, if they’re moving, offer to help pack or bring snacks for the team. Never promise something out of your comfort zone, but also sometimes you do have to step out of your comfort zone if your friend is struggling. It’s a fine balance between being a helpful friend and taking care of yourself in the process.

    Be Transparent

    If you ever criticize them in front of others, make sure it’s something you’d say to their face too. Honesty and transparency are key. For example, if you joke about their habits in a group, make sure they’re okay with it. Shaming your friend is never a sign of intimacy. But a fun banter which you know your friend will be okay with is always a good idea. Humor is what keeps the friendship stronger.

    Stay Connected Across Distances

    If they live abroad, meet at least once a year or whenever you’re in the same country. Give each other undivided attention during these meetings. For example, plan a weekend getaway or spend a whole day catching up. Make sure you both make efforts to see each other.

    Integrate into Each Other’s Lives

    Become a part of their family and vice versa. Their siblings, spouse, and parents should feel comfortable contacting you directly. You should be invited to family events, and your name should hold significance in their household. For example, their mom might call you to check on them if they’re traveling or if they are going through something, their family and loved ones know they can call you about it.

    Things to remember

    Remember at any moment you can’t stop being your authentic self. It’s one thing to make an effort as a friend to help your friend in need, but it’s another level of maturity to retain your true self and identity. This way friendship is never a burden and you remain predictable, reliable and trustworthy as a friend. Any friendship is only as strong as the promises that are kept, be it said or unsaid. 

    Make sure you don’t go too haywire with the unsaid expectations of your friendship, at the same time if you feel something is going on, share. If you feel something is going on with your friend, ask. But give a lot of time and chances to each other, sometimes years to understand what is going on. It takes a lot of effort to maintain any relationship, because it’s worth it, so be patient while deciding if you want to be friends with someone or if you want to leave a friendship too. 

    Friends build a place in our hearts and leaving them might create a hole which is not easily healed. Adult friendships are as important as building a concrete house. They are meant to last forever only then you can truly rejoice the bliss they bring with them but don’t drag a heavy weight that drains you too. I hope you will find a friend who is like a cozy home to you.

    (Based on My Lived Experience)

  • Are You Ignoring the Silent Killer of Your Peace and Health?

    It’s high time we started talking about our difficult emotions—those that scare us, unsettle us, and weigh us down. Anxiety, for instance, can be crippling. Yet instead of burying it deep within, it’s crucial to acknowledge and express it, allowing it to escape from our system. When we suppress negative emotions like anger, stress, or fear for too long, our nervous system begins to operate on autopilot. The body enters a state of defense, pulling us further away from our true selves. In such conditions, we often feel like nothing more than a spinning top—lost, directionless, and vulnerable.

    Whether it’s anxiety, fear, or anger, every emotion needs to be labelled and validated. Suppressing these feelings, sometimes so deeply that they sink into our subconscious, can have dire consequences. Research now strongly indicates that chronically suppressing stressful emotions is a significant factor in the development of long-term illnesses. Studies on chronic illnesses consistently point to stress as one of the major contributors to lifestyle diseases.

    Yet, as a society, we cling to the belief that denying our emotions—even to ourselves—will somehow make them disappear. This toxic mindset, deeply ingrained in our collective behavior, encourages people to ignore their struggles. Occasionally, brushing aside difficult emotions might work if you have a healthy nervous system and robust coping mechanisms. But repeatedly doing so puts immense pressure on the nervous system. It’s not a case of “fake it till you make it”—because one day, your body might no longer cope, and it will collapse in ways you least expect.

    When emotions are suppressed, the body responds through mechanisms known as freeze, fawn, fight, or flight. These responses often build hidden traumas—space trauma, financial trauma, scarcity trauma, and more—that lie dormant until triggered. Over time, this constant state of defense becomes habitual for the nervous system. Triggers that remain unacknowledged or unlabeled wreak havoc when they resurface, disrupting our lives unexpectedly. Gradually, these triggers begin to define us, embedding themselves into our personalities. However, the truth is that triggers are controllable—with consistent practice, support, and professional help.

    The need of the hour is to recognize and embrace the concept of a healthy nervous system. It’s equally important to know when to seek help and to stop shaming those who do. Mental stress should be treated with the same urgency and seriousness as physical stress, for which we often seek immediate medical attention. Recognizing the problem is, in fact, half the solution.

    Here’s hoping society realizes that the brain and body—or mind and body—are not separate entities. Both need care, attention, and balance to lead a truly healthy and happy life.